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    • #13102
      betterdays
      Participant

      had estate agents round today for valuation I’ve taken a drop in price it’s killing me the whole lot. All money I’ve spent good times bad mixed emotions. Then I were coming out the door and one of the neighbours who knows him approached me and said he had seen the ex how he had said it’s the end of the road for me and him he’s not coming back to me as it were before me aurguing which were really me challenging him over his abuse. Basically he wants an apology I’d have to keep quiet and let him go to pub when he fancies.. this has upset who’s he took say I’ve to beg to him. I just can’t seem to hurt him…..x

    • #13104
      KIP.
      Participant

      No contact will be hurting him. You just can’t see it. Stay strong x if anyone else tries to pass on rubbish to you, stop them mid sentence and tell them you are not interested in hearing anything about him x

      • #13107
        betterdays
        Participant

        Hi kip I really don’t think he cares anymore he wanted cake and eat it I basically said no so he’s rubbing it in my face x

    • #13109
      Nemo
      Participant

      hi betterdays, i often feel like this too – like he hasn’t suffered at all and it’s not fair.

      but my counsellor says exactly what KIP says – that the no contact will be killing him (although he’ll never let anyone, especially not you, know that it is) 😉 ❤

    • #13115
      Serenity
      Participant

      Hi Better Days,

      He won’t ever admit to anyone how he really feels. They hate admitting their vulnerabilities in public ( or even to themselves!).

      My ex apparently had a grin plastered on his face whenever he bumped into anyone we knew, and one hurtful thing was when he told a friend that he knew he was going to go years ago. When the week he left, he’d been pestering me for sex. How rubbish I felt. I felt like he’d been violating me for years without me realising.

      They talk rubbish, whatever pops into their head at the time, and they like to put on the bravado and to appear hard done by.

      No one is more important than you and your kids. Who
      cares what the neighbours say. The house will be sold, and you won’t need to see those neighbours again.

      Abusers lie and never accept fault x

    • #13134
      Confused123
      Participant

      No Contact p*sses them of to max , it hurts loads now,but u will heal and when u move on in life generally they get more wound up, let him go to pub alone and daily but u not going bk to him

    • #13169
      Escaped not free
      Participant

      Has anyone else tried to go back to their home while their partner is on bail but bailed to our home? I am literally homeless as if today and unless I’m willing to move my kids into accommodation with drug abusers and all sorts going on then I need to go back. My solicitor isn’t replying or giving me advice but has always just said I have equal occupancy rights. The dv officer couldn’t believe he was given police bail to our home but he has, despite his parents owning a massive property. His bail prevents him from approaching me. Has anyone else tried to get back home this way? My kids are safely at their dads until (detail removed by Moderator). X

    • #13172
      Serenity
      Participant

      I am not sure of the answer, but it’s worth calling the National Centre for Domestic Violence and Rights of Women.

      Good luck x

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