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Married (timeframe removed by Moderator) years to the man of my ‘dreams’. Have 2 young kids with him. This year, I finally realised that I was his sugar mummy and front loading his lifestyle whilst he gets further and further in debt. He started ‘joking’ a lot about how I looked like a h****r, how I’m fat, how I’ve let myself go. When I pulled him up about it, he said I wasn’t intimate enough with him and that’s why he is nasty to me. Final straw hit when he decided to start watching me in bed, watching me on cameras, accused me of having affairs etc. and he got physical. He doesn’t apologise, calls me a liar and says whilst it wasn’t his fault, he will apologise. I have lost myself completely. After so long I’ve realised I cannot fix someone who doesn’t realise they’re broken. His excuses of depression causing his behaviour have no basis. He has a diary that my daughter found that talks about his hate for me.
applied for divorce and stuck the house on sale. His family were harassing so I ended up leaving with the kids. He took the house off sale and I told him I’m no longer paying. He’s staying in a (specific detail removed by Moderator) bed detached whilst I stay in a (specific detail removed by Moderator) bed with the kids staying with family.
he asked for the kids for (timeframe removed by Moderator), I asked if he was planning on visiting family ((timeframe removed by Moderator) train journey away). He ignored me and (timeframe removed by Moderator) he left with them. I feel like how can I have loved someone so much when he hated so much?!
I feel broken, empty. I still feel guilt for him because all of these years he’s told me how he has no one, I’m his everything, he’s not close to family etc. and I feel bad for going through the divorce. I don’t know what this post will do other than be a rant but I just need to type. Does it get better? Why do I feel this guilt? Will we ever coparent amicably? He hasn’t acknowledged the notice of divorce, is this him having the power like with the house, with the kids etc.
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