Feel numb

[Atsah]

Had another counselling session.we discussed some of the worse moments of the timeline of abuse.I was surprised after so many years it effected me so much still.as i went into detail it was like i was re living it all even the smell as it was something that happened in a hospital.i had to do the counselling session at work she said give yourself some time after.it’s very hard because i feel i just have to go back into work mode and cover up how i feel.i felt so alone after and after the initial crying just felt numb.it’s hard to explain ..i felt sort of empty of all emotion..but then had a bad headache.i know i need to go through this to come out the other side but it’s so hard.it is like going through my marriage all over again.she is very good and has given me some grounding techniques to help me after the session.i find them hard to do but will obviously continue if they help me.just don’t know what to do with myself tonight ..just feel really sad.

[Lisa]

Hi Atsah,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about how you are feeling. Counselling can be incredibly difficult and you are brave for opening up and facing what you went through. Its normal to have sessions that may leave you feeling more low- you are using a lot of energy and going over what happened. you are processing a lot of trauma and you deserve to take that time for yourself- you have come a long way. It may be worth preparing for sessions in future and plan some self care for yourself afterwards- anything that helps you distract or help to relax. even just taking 5 minutes for yourself- taking a breath-is all part of self care.

You can access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at
Bloom. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Author]

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