Feel sick

[Melonballs]

Got my keys yesterday and started to move stuff in. I want to be fully in by the end of the month. (landlady left a lovely bunch of flowers and a card) 😴🌷

I decided not to tell him, but I’m starting to feel as if I should. (He’s not violent – just controlling and condescending).

I feel calm when I’m there, just faffing about and looking where to put things, but feel guilty for spending money I’ve worked and saved for this purpose.

Need to move more of my stuff, but it’s getting to be bigger items, and he doesn’t leave the d**n house except for work. I leave before him and get in later, and feel guilty asking for time off my work because we’re so busy. ( think I’ve got an overdose of guilt going om)!!!!I

And I’m making space for the Oscar in getting for the fab acting, pretending everything’s hunkydory! 😂

Ffs…. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach turning it all over.

Dunno what I’m trying to say – just needed to get it off my chest 😱

[KIP.]

You feel sick because your gut is screaming at you. Do not tell him anything. Ask your work for some time off. Talk to personnel. You can offer to make the time up at a later date but once youve left for good he won’t allow you to collect anything. Remember his behaviour is the reason you’re having to leave quietly. If he was a reasonable human being you wouldn’t have to leave this way. It’s not in our nature to keep secrets like this but this time it’s vital for your safety. Once you’re out and safe you can message him if you feel you still need to but my advice is to aim for total zero contact. Good luck in your new 🏠 home. You deserve to feel safe x

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