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    • #20806
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Iam starting to face my demons of my past . How can i move forward do i face my demon or send a message asking why.i cant let go of the hurt and pain . Without destroying my abuser as it was a family member

    • #20810
      Peaceful Pig
      Participant

      Hi Primbo, sorry you’re feeling so down though I’m not surprised given your situation. I can recommend the book ‘The courage to heal’ by Ellen Bass and Laura Davies. It’s a big book and covers the whole healing process including disclosures and confrontations. I wouldn’t do anything regarding your abusers for now until you have a secure base of a skilled, specialised counsellor (mine is donation only via my local rape crisis charity) and a bit of a support network in place if possible. First and foremost you have to feel safe enough to do the hard work of healing and be very gentle and patient with yourself. If you push yourself too hard you hurt yourself more and only slow the process down. That took me a long time to learn. I found practising self-compassion, meditation and yoga for trauma helped me start to reconnect with my body and my feelings but it is important to do what feels comfortable for you. In fact learning what feels right is a challenge in itself! Remember you are not alone, the statistics are alarmingly high, yet we all feel trapped by our own family secrets and the responsibility it puts on us. I know how isolating this is to live with. It is not your responsibility to either destroy or not your abusive family member/s. They did all the destruction. Your only responsibility is towards yourself and your healing (or any children who may be at risk). Be kind to yourself x*x

    • #20811
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Iam trying so hard to keep it together … but .. all i wanted was to be happy in life ..abd was promised i wont hurt you i will love you support you .itnever happened . Ive been punished all i did was care and love. But never received it back just hurt and pain over and over again. Iam lost in a world iam breaking inside

    • #20812
      Peaceful Pig
      Participant

      Do you have to keep it together? Sometimes I think we need to give ourselves permission to feel terrible. Why the hell shouldn’t we after everything we’ve been through? There are no rules. You are entitled to everything you feel. They didn’t punish you because you were bad but because they were. I can really hear your pain but you do not deserve it x*x

    • #20819
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      You are right iam allowed to feel pain. I know in time yes i will get strong and its going to take time. Thank you . I just want him to suffer!!!! And get justice he deserves that

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