Feeling awfull after a drunken mistake

[bella123]

Hi all

I’m feeling the most awfull horrible person ever.

I have not seen my ex for (detail removed by moderator) months no contact and he rings me out of the blue while I was very drunk and came to my house.

I told him how much I miss love him and will always be his and regret it so much.

He then thought we were back together and ok but I said u can’t do it and now feel like I have lead him along and been so awfull to break him again.

I feel so disappointed and hate my self so much I was doing so we’ll but just can not go back to that life how ever much I love him.

I need serious help but where do I go my head is in pieces I feel awfull I have done this to him

B x

[lover of no contact]

Hi bella,

Please try and be really gentle with yourself. Please have compassion and concern for you. He only wants to be back in a relationship with you so he can hurt you. He feeds off your hurt and distress. He is only upset if your relationship with him is off because then he will have to spend time, energy and expense finding another intimate partner that he can control and who he can upset and cause distress to so he can feel powerful. He has an addiction. An addiction to Power and Control. You are his drug to get his ‘fix’. Of course he will be sad and tell you, you led him on because he needs his ‘drugs’ so to speak, which are your ’emotions of hurt, upset, fear, anxiety and anger’. He will do whatever it takes to produce those emotions in you. Oh yes and guilt as well and yes he will manipulate it so you will feel like you are being the mean one. That’s why he got in contact with you. He needs you, he is missing having an emotional punch-bag. Don’t feel bad for not wanting to be his emotional punch-bag.

You are feeling like you are because you have had contact with him. Not your fault. You were vulnerable and your defences were down due to the alcohol. It could happen to any of us and has happened. You are human. You did the best you could in a very difficult situation.

Well done for not allowing him to pressurize you into sleeping with him. And well done for stating that you are not going back into an abusive relationship with him, no matter how much you love him.

You will start to feel better in a day or two when the poison from being in contact with him starts to wear off. Hang on in there.

You did great and you’re doing great! Keep reaching out for support.

[Confused123]

Hi Hun

this is the wake up call we need, lover of no contact has advised u brill,u know u should of never spoken with him and invited him around, u are now alert that u never speak with htis guy when drunk or full stop. JUst say u were drunk not in right mind and no u dont want him back , let him say what he wants they do anyway , u just keep walking

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