This topic contains 9 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Iwantmeback 2 months ago.

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  • #70578
     Landy 
    Participant

    I’m out. My oh was arrested for assaulting me and is out on bail. (detail removed by moderator) think he’ll do jail time. I feel bad about causing that but I’ve put up with so much and tried so hard to help him beat alcohol. It saddens me that he’s lost everything for alcohol. And I feel bad for his family if he goes to prison. They are 100% behind me but I had no idea my pressing charges would put him in prison.

  • #70581
     Anabela 
    Participant

    Hello Landy. I just had to reply to your post. Easy to say, but please don’t feel bad. He is responsible for his actions and he needs to face responsibilities. I am sure during the assault he was not feeling bad for hurting you. My ex also went to jail for assaulting me. So I understand this feeling very well as I also felt all sorts of emotions including sorry that he lost everything. But the truth is it was due the choices he made. Assaulting a woman is a crime. And even more horrible crime than assaulting as stranger as this assault is only the top of the iceberg. If he is charged guilty, it does give a feel that there is justice.
    If he does go to prison (which might not necessarily happen), it is not your fault. It is not you who is responsible for putting him to prison or causing problems with police. It is his actions.
    Hugs xx

  • #70582
     Anabela 
    Participant

    p.s. I am so glad to read that you are out. You are a warrior and a real survivor!!

  • #70591
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi Landy, just want to send you love and hugs.💞🤗 I know it’s easy fir others to say what youve done is a good thing and that he’s got only himself to blame. Your feelings of obligation will disappear too once you’ve been away from him longer and longer. It’s lovely that his family are behind you on this. He REALLY has only himself to blame. You’re in no way responsible for him going to jail, evidence, a jury and judge will decide that. The very best of luck, keep posting, be safe and take extra care of yourself.

    IWMB 💕💕

  • #70596
     Landy 
    Participant

    He’s telling people that I attacked him. This tells me he isn’t one bit sorry. I didn’t think he would be, but his lies a and lack of remorse are just making me more determined to see this through.

  • #70603
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Hi Landy, you sound so much like me. Once they turn on us in this manner it gives us even more determination to see it through. He has no remorse. Where is his concern for you? He has none. Lie till you die is their motto. Keep going and show him you are not a victim anymore. How dare he treat you this way. Actions have consequences and his are coming. Don’t worry about counter allegations. It’s a very common tactic to try and muddy the waters. Hang onto the truth like a rock in a choppy sea x

  • #70628
     Landy 
    Participant

    Thank you KIP. I’m feeling very vulnerable right now and if he was nice to me, I might just crumble. So it’s good he’s not and the terms if his bail are that he can’t contact me. Also helping. It’s been hard though.

  • #70635
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Landy, my daughter is going through what you are just now, I can’t be there for her because of my partner, she is the most endearingly strong woman I know,. We are stronger than we know but once we find that strength God help anyone who gets in our way.
    Best wishes and love to you
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #70649
     Landy 
    Participant

    Thank you, IWMB. I know I can do this, but my heart is broken into a million bits. He’s been through detox, recovered his health and started volunteering and working around the house with a view to going back to work. I thought I saw light at the end of the tunnel. But in the end, alcohol and control were more important to him than I am. And the lies he’s telling, even to the police, have cut me to the quick. All i ever did was love and support him and it’s hard to come to terms with him repaying me this way.

  • #70652
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    That’s the heart of the matter right there, we only loved them and wanted them to be happy!! It’s s..t when we eventually realise it’ll never be enough. I suppose it comes down to self preservation. He’s trying to protect himself by getting his side in first making counter accusations against you. You know the truth of your relationship, you know how he’s made you feel, I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy😪
    💕💕

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