Feeling bad

[Anonymous]

So we decided to share custody of his dog. Like everything, it worked well for a while, but in the end he’s used that small bit of contact to abuse and threaten me. I’ve now blocked him everywhere and don’t plan to take her to see him again. I feel so bad because she’s all he has left and belonged to him before he met me, but I just can’t deal with the stress of it all anymore. I did everything I could to keep them together, although he doesn’t see it that way 🙁

[hop]

Don’t feel bad for him. You’re wasting your energy on it, on him. He clearly doesn’t deserve anything and you have tried your best but as usual it’s not good enough it’s just another platform for abusing you. Please don’t feel guilty about the dog. Keep her safe because if he hasn’t got anyone else to abuse it’ll deflect onto the poor creature eventually x*x

[Anonymous]

He’s never abused her, but he has no home and no means to support her. And sadly, she doesn’t really seem to want to be around him anyway. She’s an older dog and just wants peace and routine, not sofa surfing and shouting and being cold and hungry. I feel bad that I made her spend time with him, but I had hoped she’d help him see what he was losing.

[Cecile]

Ok, guilt has a place in our lives but is also a pretty useless feeling at times like this. Let yourself off the hook. You are not a saviour or a saint, you are a human who must put herself first. I understand the pull of the pity they elicit from us (not the dogs, the men) as I am in the thick of it now. But you have to be your own carer. If you were your own ideal mother, what would you tell yourself? Forget him. The dog is lucky to have you. Here is another thing I know… dogs don’t do self pity. Sounds like yours has landed on her feet and knows it!

Put yourself first and care for you, first and foremost.😊

[she-ra]

His choices have made it this way my lovely not yours. It is so hard but you’re doing the right thing. Big hugs xx

[Escapee]

Landy – you have gone through hell, against great odds you picked yourself up, even after all his s*** you still showed him compassion. You are an amazing woman who has tried to help him, even though he treated you so badly. Be kind to yourself and let go. You’re a very special person x*x

[Anonymous]

Thank you all. I feel so bad about this. All he had to do was be nice, but he couldn’t. He was using the dog as just another weapon to control and abuse me. But of course, it’s all my fault in his eyes. Expecting him to post all over social media what a terrible person I am. No matter how much you help him, it’s never enough. I can’t believe I ever loved him.

[Author]

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