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    • #17387
      Tto3
      Participant

      Up till now I have provided everything for the children car seats cot high chair clothes tooth brushes tooth paste clothes PJs I don’t want them to need anything he keeps it all and doesn’t look after it. I’m thinking of stopping. sending them in an out fit they wear thats it. At some point do the children need to realise for themselves arrrrrrrrr feel bacon the children but feel like I need to prove a point what to do. Thanks

    • #17394
      Serenity
      Participant

      Hi Tto3,

      I have a similar problem.

      I limit the amount of things my child takes there. I tell him to leave the essentials at his dad’s.

      I am sure they do it on purpose.

      Can you buy discount stuff for him to take there? Discount toothpaste, etc.

      I know, it seems so unfair, but I can’t bear the thought of my child going without. My ex is too mean and neglectful to get him all he needs.

      You are doing well. Xx

    • #17395
      Suntree
      Participant

      This response is from the assumptions you are not living with him and they are going over to his.
      I was there, he used to not look after much unless he needed it for something to “showcase himself” to others. That didn’t change.

      Anything that I needed at home stayed at home, ie toilet seat. The kids knew and did have a choice if they wanted to take their toys over or not, that the toy might not come back and would at least stink heavily of smoke.

      The only one essential that was needed went and that had to be returned.

      I even after the court case and he started demanding I provided stuff for him to have at his place. I polity refused and referred him back to the “professionals” who told the court they could source and provide him with all he needed. I did help with suggestions on what he could purchase to help tide him over until he was set up.

      If they grew he would keep the clothes they went in and then send them home in smaller ones. I had to cut off one top as I couldn’t get it off without hurting my child.
      With school uniform if he had nothing that fitted he would send them in the oldest and worst clothes they had and tell the school that i had kept all the uniform and he didn’t have anything.
      The little tricks he would do to hide what he was doing and to make him look wonderful and me look heartless were extensive.

      The children thank goodness didn’t care about designer clothes I ended up sending them in clothes that were cheap and comfortable.

      The essentials I sent in the end he didn’t want them as they were too much of a hassle for him to return to me.

      And I did send them, with their blessing to handover on the weekend in their school uniform one day.

      I was lucky the kids knew from a very young age what he was like and pride didn’t come into it for me.

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