Feeling confused and emotional.

[Bubblegum]

I’ve been in my own a number of years now since divorcing my Ex husband .My choice I have never felt ready to move on .So I’ve thrown myself into mainly looking after our children .I am getting to a point I think I worked like to meet someone .To share that closeness again etc .Been thinking of my Ex recently missing him etc .Do not know if I’m sctuslly missing him or it’s case of I’m resdy maybe to meet someone else now .Recently I bumped into him .I rarely see him now and due to his behaviour does not see his kids .It took me a long time to get out and divorce him .He has moved on with someone else has another child .When we spoke briefly he was saying he has changed as he is now older .He says he’s fond of his partner but does not really in love with her but does live his child .I can see myself deep down he’s not truly happy .Ive thinking silly thoughts I’d love to hold him in my arms again but deep down I don’t think he’s changed .He is just telling me what I want to hear .Been Feeling very upset about it is it just a trigger he is bringing up old feelings ? Deep down u don’t think we could ever realistically ever go back to the way things were he has caused so much damage .You love someone but can’t be with him .Im still feeling like this years down line .Maybe took plunge with someone else I won’t feel like this x

[Iwantmeback]

I think it can depends on a number of things.
I dont love my OH now, i do have feelings but they are certainly not Love. The feelings only arise when i get a glimpse of the nice man he once was, but even then those feelings are full of sadness cos he can’t be that man he was all the time. I never wanted him to be perfect, we’re all fallable, that’s what makes us human. I thought i could fix my OH, if i gave him all my love he’d see his worth and feel better about himself, but all that happened was i became blind to how he was treating me and making me feel about myself and those i cared about around me. I dont even know if i have any love for my children, parents, grandchild. Because of his insecurities i withdrew my love fir others who needed me, in order to let him know he was my number 1. After all kids grow up and leave and ignore you(his words constantly dripped into me)

With regards him moving on, yes i think you’re right, hes saying what you want to hear. I wish id been strong enough to speak with his ex when things seemed off kilter, but i believed him when he said she was spiteful, turned people against him, lied about the abuse. He was abused NOT her according to him😏 but i felt as if i was going behind his back, being disrespectful. When all I’ve really done is disrespect myself and not been the lioness i thought I’d have been when i had children.

You might just be ready to dip your toes in to seeing other men. Only you can decide, just remember your red flags and font be afraid to set boundaries. id be afraid to say my ex had been abusive, tho i may mention he took advantage of the male/ female roles within a relationship. I’ve read about too many future partners use the info to their advantages but then again with red flags and such we should be able to survive. (Detail removed by Moderator)
💕💕

[fizzylem]

Yes I agree, he’s manipulating you, saying what he thinks you want to hear, trying to get you to believe you are the special one, only you can save him, poor man, has he left you feeling sorry for him? Playing the victim again? He said all these things to his new partner too of course. Yes he’s unhappy, but this has nothing to do with who he is with, it is likely he will always be unhappy because he is unable to take on personal responsibilty.

Think about it, do you really want to be with someone who goes behind your back and blames you for their unhappiness? Because this is what he does hey. We are each responsible for own happiness yes? Do you really want to be with someone who failed to put his own children first? Do what was right for them? Only it looks like he would do this again from where I’m standing with his youngest, I love my child but…and what would a reunion be like for all the children?

Chances are he’s managed to stir old feelings and that’s all, feelings that belong to the past.

I’m thinking that the message in this meeting isn’t saying go back, its about recognising he’s still the same, but also that it is time for you to move on and to do something about that. You’re a caring compassionate woman, of course you feel for him, but he abused that, he had his chance and he blew it. Maybe its time to give your love to someone else, someone who appreciates you, someone who will give this to you too x

[Bubblegum]

Thank you both ladies for your replies today .Yes this weekend brought back old feelings even after all these years but it also proves he has not changed for the better .Still lies puts people down plays the victim.As for his youngest child I hope I’m wrong but if he’s anything to go by he let down our kids badly .He also has an older child that he’s never bothered with .Fizzylem your reply really brought home how I’ve been feeling lately .Like you said he had his chance he blew it time after time xx

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