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My husband who I left due to continuelly cheating on me and making me feel jealous by sending me pictures of other women he is texting and having sex with. Telling me look at them as I can do so much better than you ( which he said he did to make me feel jealous and wasn’t really doing anything with them).
I also have caught him on dating websites etc which he said he never was…somebody must have made his profile up.
He also used to say really hurtful things and twist everything to make me look like I was the nuts one.
He now keeps texting me telling me he loves me and to meet him for a coffee to talk and we can fix things and how he is always trying and I don’t. And I feel really guilty for saying I don’t want to meet him as I feel to much pain and I will never trust him again.
What’s going on why do I feel like this. I feel I am doing something wrong. He tells me to be a wife as I haven’t been a good wife.
Sorry I just had to get it all out as it’s driving me crazy all the time -
Hi Ribbon,
From reading your post your ex is using emotional manipulation to get to you and it is working because you are now questioning yourself. This is what he wants. He will become the victim and you will feel sorry for him it is a tactic they use that often gets under our skin more than them threatening you. What you describe is emotional abuse, how he made you feel and still makes you feel is wrong. Hold out if you can remind yourself that you deserve to be happy and free because this man is not going to make you happy. If you go back it will be to the same treatment he gave you before no matter how much he says he has changed.
You are going to feel torn and as though you are doing something wrong because this is how he wants you to feel. You have every right to ignore him, you are doing nothing wrong by not meeting him. He says you have not been a good wife but from your post he is not a good husband and you deserve better x
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Dear Ribbon, have a look at 30 Covert Manipulation Tactics in Personal Relationships, all books by HG Tudor, you may find The Devils Toolkit good right now, plus Covert Emotional Manipulation Exposed, all of these are available to read free on Amazon. There are words that are used such as Intermittent Reinforcement, Gaslighting and Negative Reinforcement and Plausible Deniability. All of these are tactics of emotional abuse. XXXXX
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Try going total no contact. Block his texts emails number etc. While your struggling with his mind games you will never see the bigger picture. Your local women’s aid should be able to help you. Also Living With The Dominator, a book by Pat Craven. Trying to make you jealous is classic abuser behaviour. No contact is my strong advice.
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Yes Ribbon you can do so much better. I’d just like to let you know that when I was with my ex (& other partners) I felt anxious, lacked confidence, inferior, like nothing, and insecure amongst other things. I felt as though I had to be a certain way to be accepted. I was forever walking on eggshells and felt miserable.
I’ve been single for a few months now and feel none of these things. I’m doing great and don’t have a single one of these former issue. My life is not perfect but I feel calm, content, optimistic and positive most days. You can have this too. X*X ( i also was forever wanting to leave then changing my mind, wishing and hoping)
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Thank you so much for all your support but I seemed to have been reeled back in. I hate myself and feel terrible.
I just couldn’t handle the guilt and pressure I was feeling from him.
I know he will slip up soon and I will find out he is upto something again so I never let my barrier up ever now.
I just don’t know what to do as now I feel like I’m the unstable one ;'(
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