Feeling like a bad person

[Snow]

Hi I have good days where I feel really strong where I don’t doubt what I’m doing is wrong and I know what have been going trough for years is abuse and there’s days like I have been having where I question myself.
Am I as bad as him , you see since I have told him it’s over and he has to go he keeps telling me I’m nasty person and where has all this anger come from that he can forgive me because he loves me. He blames me for his drinking he’s rages and so and so on. But I blame him for not wanting him, I won’t let him touch me I don’t want him to do any thing for me I don’t even want to talk to him or see him. He is living in my house and at the moment we are sorting out the finances so he can save money to move out and rent. He’s self employed so work is a bit weeks on and weeks off. I guess what I’m asking is how do I live with him and stay strong while we sort out the finances.
He’s verbally abusive controlling and bullying, but now I feel like I’m just Nasty to him all the time when he’s just trying to get along to get this sorted. You see I think if I drop my guard let the wall down a bit he will feel like he’s winning and I will be back to the start again and even if he can change I will never be able to trust this man or let him again.

[Ayanna]

He deserves to be treated like a piece of sh… Carry on, show him who the boss is. He is only a stupid man.

[Osie]

Hi Snow. Firstly is it safe for you both to be under the same roof. The stress of the situation will definitely increase the risk. I really do feel you need to call the women’s aid helpline and get a safety plan in place. He is going to try everything possible to regain control in this situation and I am worried that the anger that is present could increase his risk towards you. Please call them and get some advice. Stay strong you will get there

[Snow]

He just started taking antidepressants so I think they are keeping him calm at the moment.im finding difficult to live in the same house as him as I just stay out of his way all the time which means at the weekends I’m just stuck in my bedroom as I’m not in the mood to go out it and see people. I just want him to go shopping I can start to rebuild my life and to just be able to walk in comfort around my own home

[Snow]

He just started taking antidepressants so I think they are keeping him calm at the moment.im finding difficult to live in the same house as him as I just stay out of his way all the time which means at the weekends I’m just stuck in my bedroom as I’m not in the mood to go out it and see people. I just want him to go so I can start to rebuild my life and to just be able to walk in comfort around my own home

[Author]

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