28th June 2021 at 12:14 pm #127846
Today I just need a chat. Nothings changed im still here putting up with his nasty vile comments his selfish attitude that all makes me feel like pants. He is trying to be on his bestish behaviour as its my bday (detail removed by Moderator) i wont get a card or gift i never have in (detail removed by Moderator) years not even from the kids although now two are older they do make the effort but hubby doesnt. What am i doing? Nothing. I dont really have friends that arent our friends so nobody to go for coffee or lunch with i ised to but he made me feel so guilty each time i went out i dont bother now. I go gym but i dont chat or meet for coffee whats the point he will just moan and he currently doesnt know i go gym. I feel down and lonley and not loved and i wonder why, what i do thats so wrong that he cant love me i dont mean sex or money its the real love, the hugs the praise the support i get none of that even on good days. For me a good day is when he doesnt call me a name or pick fault with something ive done or not done.
I dont know if theres any point to this post apart from the fact im miserable old alone and fed up today really fed up. Thanks for letting me moan xx
28th June 2021 at 12:27 pm #127847EmptybutfreeParticipant
Don’t ever feel as though you’re moaning, it’s better to say how you’re feeling than to keep it to yourself.
We all have each other to turn to for support!
My ex was the same… he’d make an effort to some extent for my birthday and other occasions but he didn’t like things being about anyone else but himself… maybe this is similar to your husband?
You should be proud of how strong you are, you’re never ever alone and you sound like a very patient, forgiving and lovely lady – try not to be so hard on yourself. – you’re amazing xx
28th June 2021 at 12:39 pm #127848
@emptybutfree Thanks yeah my husband sounds like yours, he hates it not being about him but there will be no effort made at all nothing. Just makes me feel so s****y like im such a bad person so horrible i dont deserve a happy birthday or even a happy life. Some years we have been away he gives a friend some money and they book it all nice right? No he does it as he wants sex all weekend and without the kids as a distraction its easy right!!
Its not for me at all it never is.
I dont want anything fancy or amazing just a cuppa in bed or a hug with no frills thats it.
Since having my eyes opened to his behaviour i feel like im not coping at all now i see it i cant un see it and its all i think about day in day out when b4 i was scared and on edge yes but i could still function, right now all i do is sit and worry and stress and get myself into such a state. I just want it to stop I guess we all do.
Sorry and thanks xxxxx
28th June 2021 at 12:57 pm #127851EmptybutfreeParticipant
Sending lots of birthday hugs to you!
You’re not a bad person, you wouldn’t be talking openly like this if you were.
You know his behaviour is wrong, you know that you don’t like it and that it isn’t making you happy… infact, it’s making you miserable.
Make your day special for you, you have people who don’t know you personally but want what is best for you and want you to be happy. I hope (detail removed by Moderator) and every other day, you have special days.
When we’ve put up with abusive behaviour for a long time, it’s almost impossible to un see it. Maybe try and see you, for the beautiful and kind woman that you are.
You absolutely do not deserve to feel the way you do, you deserve nothing but happiness. You’re doing amazing, even on the days when the world feels heavy.
Big hugs xx
28th June 2021 at 2:59 pm #127853
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