Feeling lost

[Headmush99]

Hiya. I’m new here. I don’t really know where to start but I’ve been in an abusive relationship for (detail removed by Moderator) years and even after we separated and he found a new victim he was still abusing me mentally. They split and he had started to convince me he wanted to be part of out baby’s life (after months of telling me he was dead to him and he wasn’t his etc) but has instantly turned on me and has went back to his old ways of abuse. He has now found a new victim and I’ve now blocked him but I’m going through all the motions and feel lost.

[littledove]

Abusers always come back to their victims after losing their new victim. It’s easier to go back to an old victim than the efforts of finding a new one (I learned this well from Kip and she will tell you the same).

It’s like they have a list of people they can go back and torment.
Now that he’s got a new victim (shows his need for control that he’s already moved on so quick), hopefully it’ll take some heat off of you.

Don’t let him see your son. He hasn’t been a father to him, he’s let him down and abandoned him. He doesn’t just get to pick up and drop him whenever he feels like it.
I would just ignore him, and keep blocking him whenever he tries to contact. Keep all his texts.
If he keeps harassing you contact the police.

I have been away from my abuser for many years but we have a child together too that he doesn’t see. But whenever he falls out with his new victim he always attempts to make contact. These men are so entitled and delusional. I just ignore and block.

It is triggering though and brings back feelings of anxiety and panic. I’m actually going through depression again.
Be kind to yourself and take time to relax. Do things that make you happy. And try not let him bring you down xx

[Headmush99]

Thanks for the reply Littledove. I seem to be his “safety blanket”. I know it will go quiet for a while until his mask slips with his new victim then will try get back in touch. He moves from relationship to relationship very quickly, love bombs, wants kids and to get married within weeks, you know all the usual signs abusers do but I’m always his “go to” and uses our baby as a get in. Obviously there is a whole back story that even Jeremy Kyle wouldn’t be able to work out but I’m just feeling lost because I hate him and have feelings all at the same time.

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