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    • #124384

      This week covers (detail removed by moderator) important dates one  (detail removed by moderator) who has also passed. I’m feeling so low and alone and hate feeling like this. I’m also currently on holiday from work which I was looking forward to some me time, but since iv been off all iv done is hibernate. I don’t feel like going out and have not made any plans. I feel more frightened now than I did when I left (detail removed by moderator) and unsure why this is heightened now. I hate this rollercoaster of emotions. I just want to be me again. When does this get easier or better? Friends have been good but after the initial breakup I haven’t seen them much and find it hard to tell them I’m feeling this bad as they all have their own lives.
      I’m angry at myself for feeling like this, it seems irrational but I can’t shake this feeling of being scared, even thought he has not been near or tried to contact me recently. I just want to feel normal

    • #124389

      Hi Sleepypigeon,

      I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling like this. You had a lot going on at the moment.

      Locking ourselves away can sometimes be just what we need but it can also really focus us on our feelings of sadness and fear.

      I think it would be worth talking to your GP very soon to see if you can get some help before your fear becomes unmanageable. Many ares also have self referral for services such as counselling and CBT so it would be worth asking your GP about it to see if your area does this.

      You have got yourself out andctgat takes courage. Your courage is still there and you will need it to get through your ongoing recovery.

      It is a bit of a rollercoaster I’m afraid. The emotions surrounding the loss of your old life and the loss of future hopes can be very mixed. You are free now and you can put all the energy you used to spend on him into your own recovery.

      Your new life is ahead of you and you have time and space to work out what you want your new life to be.

      At times like this, I draw strength from the forum. I sometimes imagine what it would be like if I went back; it’s a wake up call and reminds me that however hard it seems, my life is better now. Sending hugs and positive vibes. xx

    • #124406

      Hi beautiful Angel…Sleepypigeon,
      Listen to that inner voice that is probably just telling you, you need some time out.
      As if this year has not been enough already, and then to have what you have gone through added on top of that and if you are still working as well … you probably just need a break…
      So curl up and be kind to yourself, treat yourself like your own best friend. Get snug, light a candle, get some nice healthy food and nurture yourself.
      We always think we should be doing, but as with nature sometimes we just need to go under ground, to gather that energy to blossom again.
      Forgive yourself for being angry and then just let it go, you are aloud to be, but don’t hold onto it.
      Know that you are not alone and you have the support of the forum… we understand
      Sending you continued love and support
      Darcy xx

    • #124421

      Thank you for your replies, I want to shake this feeling, just really struggling with it. Everything feels so difficult right now, being of work has allowed me to hibernate.
      One thing I’m certain is I don’t want to go back.

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