Feeling low

[Benson]

Parcel through the post has triggered so many awful memories. It has made me feel so fearful of what could have happened or what could still have happened. How can someone be so vile?

[lover of no contact]

Hi Benson,

Was the parcel just a normal parcel from a normal person and it has triggered you ? Or were the contents of the parcel vile? Its good you have posted for support.

[Benson]

Sorry, not a very clear post. It was a parcel that I had been waiting for, evidence that had been kept and returned, so something rather vile from a previous incident. Sorry but unable to put too much details as don’t want to be identified. I have now relived the whole incident and now don’t know what to do with it, I keep looking at it, can’t believe I was in a relationship with someone who would do that.

[lover of no contact]

oh no wonder you are being badly triggered. This is normal you will experience a set-back in your feelings. What helps me is just to sit with the feeling, the discomfort , the low feeling. Know it will pass if you don’t fight it. You need to be gentle with yourself as if you had the flu and were feeling awfully unwell. These ‘horrible feelings’ will pass. Maybe by this time tomorrow these feelings will be lessened and by Sunday hopefully they will nearly be gone. I find I have to not panic when ‘horrible feelings’ come into my system. I just have to go about my chores etc feeling them but trying to not let them stop me getting on with my day.

As for the thoughts of what could have happened etc well maybe try not to entertain those thoughts. I have heard it said that we can’t go there in our mind with the ‘what-if’s’ whether for the future or the past.

Easier said than done, maybe other ladies may have suggestions and keep posting over the weekend for support.

[Benson]

I just feel rubbish right now and needed to vent- a glass of wine or two have calmed the shakes! I know that i will pull myself together and by keeping busy over the weekend Will help. I am just angry with myself for letting it upset me.

[lover of no contact]

Of course it will upset you as we are only human, we are not made of stone, or robots with no thoughts or feelings. But the fact that you posted on here and took action (the wine lol) to calm and you won’t let it stop you doing what you need to do over the weekend means this trigger will not make your life unmanageable, which is fantastic progress.

Onwards and upwards:)

[Benson]

Feeling slightly better, had a really busy day with my young child and now zoning out and decorating. I keep reliving the memories but trying hard not to let them affect me, it’s easier said than done but keep thinking one step at a time and things are definitely getting easier!

[everythingwillworkout]

Benson, please don’t get mad at yourself – you’re just having a TOTALLY normal human reaction to an abnormal situation. Have you had any trauma therapy? I find using something called the Dialectical Behavioural Therapy workbook helpful as it teaches you self-soothing techniques for when you experience overwhelming, painful feelings like this – you can find it on Amazon. Sending you hugs x

[Benson]

Thank you Everythingwillworkout. Regarding therapy I had to stop when I moved areas, so have been on a waiting list, however I have first session this week, so I am really hoping that I am able to deal with these tricky situations better and really want to begin to heal so I can move on with my life. I will also take a look at the book you suggested. I am really appreciative of all the support this forum offers. It’s been a tricky weekend, as I have recieved some strange messages and again another profile has been set up in my name on social media- not by me! I have managed to keep busy and had some great walks and picnics with my child.

[Author]

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