Feeling low and deflated

[Rainbowdream]

Since my conversation with the police the other day I’ve been swapping from overwhelmed, to numb, to defeated, to complete denial again.
(detail removed by Moderator) and after having a conversation with them they assessed me as medium risk, but he said the higher end. Its like I’m not quite at the point where things need to be done (detail removed by Moderator). I have amazing support like friends, idva, midwives ect and yet I still feel so isolated and alone and like it’s all just hopeless.
He’s back to acting like everything’s fine. He’s now making jokes about (detail removed by Moderator), that’s horrible, it’s like he’s trying to normalise it.
Actually reading what the DASH assessment is for is terrifying. (detail removed by Moderator). Yet…emotionally I can’t even connect to that. I can’t emotionally connect to any of it. The abuse, the pregnancy, the situation or what’s actually going on.
I don’t want to sound ungrateful at all, I know I’m so lucky to have the support that I do have, maybe I’m just having a proper pity party today. I feel like logically I know I should leave but in reality it just doesn’t seem possible.
Sorry for the pointless rant, I just needed to get it out

[Chocolatebar]

Hello Rainbow dream

Sorry to hear what you’re going through.
Never apologise for ‘ranting’ on here and it’s never ‘pointless’. We all need to do that at times and this is where we know we can do that.

Please take care….and keep ‘ranting’ on here if ever you feel you need to xx

[Rainbowdream]

Thankyou x

[Shazza]

I can understand your last statement so much “I know I should leave but in reality it doesn’t seem possible”.
I had those exact same thoughts as well. It’s so hard when it feels like there aren’t any good options.
Sounds like he is changing tactics to try and confuse you. You know what he is now, hold on to that.
Never be sorry for coming here to share how you are feeling, it is so important to let it out somewhere x

[Rainbowdream]

I know i should know what he is, I’ve had enough people tell me, yet I still can’t seem to connect that. I still feel like I must be wrong, it must be something I’m doing, it’s not actually that bad ect ect.
And thankyou, I just feel guilty when I’ve actually had fairly decent help and support and I’m still just a mess.
Thankyou

[Author]

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