Feeling old and washed up…anyone else?

[iliketea]

Hi, does anyone else sometimes feel they took the best years of your life? I’ve been doing really well lately and feeling good about myself and positive about the future but suddenly hit rock bottom. It was a friends significant birthday this week and it just got me thinking of all the ones we’ve had together before. Then I was thinking about the past, and started looking up people I’d lost contact with because of him. He took the best years from me, and now I’m all old and washed up, with nothing and those old friends are all ahead in their lives, solid relationships, good jobs, nice houses, a life, just living a normal nice stress free life with their families. I know its not that simple and everyone has stresses but this feels different. I feel like I’m starting from scratch but without any of the benefits of being young, with hope and energy. Suddenly feel so lonely, well I am alone, the friends disappeared as he got his hold on me, and now there’s no-one.

Anyone else feel this way? How do you move forward with nothing. I know I have my freedom and I don’t miss him for a second but I feel angry and sad and just really p****d off that I wasted the best years of me, on him and a dream that was never going to be, a life that was never going to happen. Why did I take SO long to realise. It all seems so obvious now, but its too late.

Just putting it here, haven’t posted for a while, there might be someone who comes along and feels the same. xx

[Walkingonsunshine]

Aww Iliketea sending you a great big hug 🤗 I’m sure you have plenty still to give and enjoy, but I do know what you mean.
I had this vision, that my life would be just so, I’d get married and I’d live happily ever after, the end. Instead I find myself in a place I’d never imagined was possible, this wasn’t part of my plan, and I have no idea what to do with myself now. I have no idea what I want anymore – my dreams were shattered, my trust broken and I no longer have a vision.
I have decided to just take each day as it comes. Find a hobby you enjoy doing and focus on that – hopefully you can meet new friends, be selfish, do all the things you felt you were unable to do because of him, plan to travel? There’s nothing holding you back so go be you and live the best life you can 💖
Things are super hard with covid at the moment and it hard to stay positive but perhapse make a list of 5 things you’d like to accomplish after covid, or 5 places you’d like to visit and make these your best years. You can’t change what’s happened but you can change your future xx

[True2myself]

I feel this way. I’m told I can start again but I think wow I wasted (I wish I could put how many years but alot) on him.
Hugs to you ♥️

[Anonymous]

Hi yes I have the same thoughts , I have been grieving for the life I have missed out on . I feel stupid , embarrassed , guilty too that I tolerated years of abuse allowing someone to control my life for so long ,wasted years and untrusting of anyone else . It’s all pretty new to me still but right now I am adjusting to the quiet , not being in alert mode constantly and being able to relax at home.I’m hopeful I have better things ahead.No age is too old to make the change and it’s not starting from scratch it’s choosing how you want your life to be from now x

[Eggshells]

Hi @iliketea.

Yes, it can be hard to get past those feelings, especially when Covid is putting our lives on hold. It’s hard to make a new life when all of the networks etc that we would normally try, are closed to us.

It is still early days really and yes, you have spent a lot of years of your life on a man who didn’t deserve it, who made you unhappy. You are young yet! I think you are younger than me. 😉

You have a whole lifetime of experience behind you and a whole lifetime of new experiences ahead of you. At the moment, your new experience is being free, being relaxed in your own home, being able to go to bed safely night, eating and doing what you want, dressing how you want. Relish those experiences. This quiet time of Covid is a time just to be you.

Write down the things you’d like to do – even if you don’t think that you will ever be able to do them. It’ll tell you something about yourself.

Every new day is another step forward, even the bad days. I does take a while but for me, there is at least one woman on here who is proof that you can get there in the end. I have KIP as my inspiration and it really helps me to know that she made it. Slowly but surely, keep moving in that direction. For now, perhaps just aim to learn to love being single. Singles can have such a great life, unburdened by having to always put someone’s else first.

You’re not washed up, you are still washing away the dirt of your old life. You’re only just beginning a whole new life. xx

[iliketea]

Thanks everyone for your really kind replies, really appreciate it. Its sort of comforting Im not alone in this, but then again I feel sad others feel the same, if you know what I mean. Thanks for reaching out. Made me cry. I love that @eggshells “Not washed up still washing away the dirt from your old life”.xx

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