Feeling overwhelmed again – do I take time off of work?

[Tiredone]

I have been struggling with PTSD for (detail removed by moderator) years now following an abusive relationship. I have tried to seek help through my GP, the NHS, the police, private therapy, DV charities, women only counsellors… the list goes on. I have been let down at every turn, through negligence, lack of resources/funding etc. and I am getting desperate.

Work is really stressful at the moment. My old boss was a huge source of support and comfort and when they left I was put under a lot of pressure and stress at work. I felt like I was clinging on for dear life since the beginning of the year and only now I am realising how sick I was. I was suicidal at times, anxious and scared ALL THE TIME but kept getting up and dragging myself to work. I got through it and have been feeling really positive for the last couple of months and naively thought that I was over the worst of the PSTD but have had a rude awakening recently.

However, in the last couple of weeks I have started to fell myself slip again and I think I need to take some time off of work this time before it gets really bad again but it is the worst time to do so (detail removed by moderator) this is always the busiest time of the year. My new boss has been relying on me heavily and I can’t cope with the stress. (detail removed by moderator)

I am in two minds about taking time off because I am waiting to get therapy so I would just be at home and anxious. If I don’t take the time off then I fear I will get much worse.

F**K! Help me

[freedomtochoose]

Hello there,
so sorry to hear you are going through this.
Well done for acknowledging your own needs. I too have chronic PTSD (which is a disabilty if you have had it for two years at least)..

Others may disagree, but I urge you to think about the long term and your long term health.
I think you have said it in one when you said ‘if you don’t take the time off…fear I will get much worse’..

You could take time off make a plan around self-compassionate activities and self-nurturing things (such as yoga) which you feel might help you manage your disability.

In the long term with such a disabilty – you have rights and are actually entitled to reasonable adjustments to your working environment. This is a tricky one though as you may not wish to disclose (and definitely don’t have to and are not obliged to). I have known situations where the disclosures go very wrong – and may be used against you.

One place to contact might be Rethink Mental Illness phone line – who offer legal advice and will help you and open a file for you so that when you phone – you don’t have to tell your story all over again.

I hope this helps a bit. Yes I can see you seem to need a project to sink your teeth into – however, perhaps in the long term if you can, might be better to find a different kind of work…?

It is a tough one, hope you find sympathetic G.P. who has a listening ear to at least write a sick note – until you can get counselling….

all best
ftc
x

[Tiredone]

Hello FTC,

It’s been an eventful week. I got two weeks off of work. Friday was manic trying to prep as much as I could in order to try to a alleviate some of the pressure on my colleagues. Senior management have been very supportive but the head of the company will be extremely annoyed about my absence. Today

I didn’t know having it for two years meant it was and disability. It is very debilitating so when I think about it I can see why. It ruins everything. Relationships, self-esteem, sleep etc.

Today was my first day at home and I feel a little calmer. I had some plans to dogsit and try out yoga and ride my bike but I’m so anxious at the moment that I don’t want to leave my flat.

I need to force myself to go out but I really don’t want to.

[freedomtochoose]

Hello there,
Just a note this morning from a fellow sufferer, as it were.
The thing about this is actually it can be really exhausting. If you are anything like me, and it sounds as if you are, you tend to climb mountains, almost as if to compensate for what you are experiencing.

I personally find it can be quite hard to allow myself to rest and not take on so much. I’m hearing you say that you ‘need to force yourself to go out but you…don’t really want to’ I take this as a sign that it is time to be very, very kind to yourself, maybe even feel ok about being at home today.

I am going through a similar process right now. I kind of exhausted myself finishing my college course (not that long ago) – also have a child so it is not as if I have the option of not doing anything every day. …

I had started to feel overwhelmed by people (it is kind of strenuous having a teenager anyway as most people will say, sometimes it is wonderful but other times really demanding…).

I have kind of retreated to my allotment in the last couple of weeks, instead of diving in to a next project straight away. There is something about being outside and working really hard physically which I believe is being quite healing.

One thing to bear in mind is that PTSD is said to be a process of grief. If you were suffering from a bereavement most people would not expect you to forge ahead and be very sociable. Just for myself I have noticed that whilst sitting on my allotment and working I seem to be working through a process of grief as well. I am trying not to push it away as I believe then it may come back. I seem to be able to cope with those light weight covnersations about gardening with allotment neighbours which I typically have, but not so well with things and people that are more emotionally demanding.

I hope we can both trust that, like the seasons, summer ends, autumn begins, and sooner or later the spring appears again. Don’t know what others experiences are, but I seem to have learned my PTSD goes in cycles. It is sometimes very scary when it gets bad, but if I try to ride the waves as it were, I discover that maybe I can do lots of things, it is just a phase I am going through.

All best
ftc
x

[Tiredone]

Isn’t it so frustrating that things that wouldn’t have been stressful before now can completely floor you!? My ex had PTSD and always said he can’t handle stress and now I completely understand what he meant. My job isn’t even that stressful in the grand scheme of things (I’m not a nurse or doctor) but I feel like I can’t cope. I feel like I’m going to lose my mind or start crying and never stop. I feel the panic rising and I’m freeze.

I was going to go to yoga this morning but I don’t want to leave the house again. I was supposed to be meeting a friend this evening and she cancelled. I am so relieved that I don’t have to venture outside.

I don’t have children. I can’t imagine having a child and dealing with PTSD. Also, any woman that has children with their abuser is a true hero in my eyes. Constantly being contacted to a person who has ruined your life must be so, so, hard. I also had a child with my ex but I knew we would both have a terrible life. I now have issues about being pregnant and having children.

Urgh! I just want to feel normal again and be able to cope with everyday stressed.

[Author]

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