This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  HopeLifeJoy 1 week, 2 days ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #85503
     Peacethroughhealing 
    Participant

    I’m always posting under having a bad day and I hope to not be indefinitely but it’s how things are at the moment. My friend’s dad passed away this morning and it just hammers home to me how short life is here and makes me so sad that the person that I wanted to spend my life with hurt me so much. A few days ago now he treated me so cruelly mentally and there was no hook to try and have a nice night in the end so I know that he doesn’t love me now at all or it’s his sick and twisted way of love. I realise that this has to be the end of the relationship but I am devastated by it all and there really hasn’t been any closure. I cannot reply to him after last weekend and what he did as it was so horrible how he dangled my on a string to suit himself to hurt me. I can no longer be a part of that. I don’t want him to be with someone else either though to get all his love. I often post here at the weekends as it’s when I am at my lowest point. Today is another one where I just try to keep myself busy but that’s not what life should be about. It should be about having fun and making the most of everything and I had that with him.

  • #85622
     Lisa 
    Main Moderator

    Hi Peacethroughhealing,

    I am just checking in to see how you are feeling today? You have been so brave. I hope you are feeling brighter and looking after yourself as best you can.

    Be kind to yourself and keep posting. We are all here for you.

    Best wishes,

    Lisa
    Forum Moderator

  • #85691
     HopeLifeJoy 
    Participant

    Hi Peacethroughhealing
    You will be able to spend lovely weekends one day. You will.
    It takes time to get over them, to get over the loss of the relationship, the future we had imagined together, the love we felt for them and yes it’s most difficult because we are the ones needing to give ourselves closure, it won’t be mutual. It makes the heartache even lonelier. Grieve the loss of the relationship but please do it safely, meaning do not stay in contact with him. Go No Contact. This will give yourself space to get through your grief, gently and with care for yourself.
    If the weekends are the most difficult times, can you plan something nice for yourself, going for a coffee in the city with a friend, treating yourself with home spa, giving yourself a facial treatment, manicure&pedicure, going to a yoga or pilates class. Anything where you are the main focus, where you take care of yourself.
    Also remember to get plenty of sleep, it’s such basic need we tend to forget it but it’s dearly needed to recover from abuse.
    It does get better with time you’ll think less of him, both positively and negatively, he won’t take up so much space in your mind, you’ll get busier spending time on your own activities and before you know it you’ll have spend an enjoyable weekend.
    Keep posting, specially on weekends okay darling sending you hugs 💕

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