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    • #154795
      Babs
      Participant

      Sometimes, the sadness takes me over. My tears today were full of sadness. Sad that I had put up with his behaviour for so long. Sad I never really saw what he was doing til now. Sad he’s off lovebombing his latest conquest. I know I am so much better without him, but those heady early days were so good. And now someone else is receiving his adoration. I don’t want to feel like this I really don’t.

    • #154807
      needadviceplease
      Participant

      Oh I really feel for you babs, it’s totally understandable to feel that way when you have good memories of someone in the early stages. The best thing for it in my opinion is just to remind yourself that he is not that person that you remember from the start. The police told me that it’s common for the start to be a honeymoon phase and to feel great but then his true character will start to come through. Even though it’ll hurt to see him with someone else you are better off without that person in your life. He will never consistently be that person you remember from the beginning because it was not his true self. You saw his true self and you got out, you did the best thing for you. It might help to look at that as the courageous achievement it is, and try to think about how much better you are without him. The feeling will pass and we’re all here for you whilst you’re waiting for it to go away x

      • #154840
        Babs
        Participant

        @needadviceplease you are so right. As soon as I was married the cracks started to show. But I was determined to make it work as he told me he was too. He accused me of living on a rollercoaster. I didn’t understand. I never saw my life like that. I knew it was him who made issues where there weren’t any. I find myself wishing I had never met him now.

      • #154860
        needadviceplease
        Participant

        Yeah I can imagine! You are and will always be better off without him in your life and you’ve done an amazing thing by getting out. Its totally understandable to feel how you are but it’ll pass with time I’m sure of it. Hope you have some better days ahead x

    • #154818
      Watersprite
      Participant

      Hello Babs yes his shine will fade in his new relationship your pain at this however is normal. Let those tears flow. A good cry is healing and healthy and necessary there is a lot to grieve. I couldn’t express my emotion in my long marriage to ex it wasn’t safe so re learning that is a bit rocky so at times emotions feel overwhelming. Perhaps you can relate to that? But a feeling is all it is – this will pass and you will once more feel joy at the little gifts freedom brings. Take care xx

    • #154839
      Babs
      Participant

      Thank you @watersprite. I remember crying silent tears on many occasions during my marriage. I didn’t want him to see my weakness as I knew it would be ammunition for him. My life is so much better without him, but sometimes knowing that isn’t always enough to keep the sadness at bay.

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