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i am so frustrated with myself today. i have been in control this past couple of weeks since i threw him out. as in my past posts its just been anger and anxiety highs and lows. yesterday i had the strangest feeling of euphoria which drove me crazy. today i just want to cry cry and cry….this person who i gave my heart and soul to has gone he hurt used and abused robbed off me and cheated on me.. he has scared me for life i will never love or trust anybody ever again. i.(age removed by moderator) and picking up the pieces of my shattered life again. i really am so sad today. im in work and having to hold it together because today if i break i wont get back up again. this life can be so cruel. why does this have to happen to us? i hate that word WHY? there is never an answer to it
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I’m so sorry to hear you’re having a tough day, and what you have been through. It’s good you’re at work though – after what happened to me I was mess and could hardly keep it together so work offered me time off and I decided to persevere and continue business as usual. It actually helped my recovery so much and gave me a good distraction, time filler and company as well tbh. You’ve got this I promise you. Those of us who suffer DA think we are weak, worthless and vulnerable but the fact we go through this and survive shows how strong we really are – stronger than them that’s for sure. It is cruel that this has happened to you, and me, and every other woman on this forum, and there is no reason why. No explanation. All I know is that it awakens a strength and resilience in us we didn’t know we had, and we are the ones who will go on to have a wonderful life whilst our abusers will eventually get what’s theirs. Hang in there and keep pushing on x
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that notion that they will get their comeuppance is what keeps me going. im frustrated that i feel c**p but that thing is going on not a care in the world and i have a breeze block in my gut. i too have thrown myself into work i have to be busy i cant sit and dwell anymore than what I have done..
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Yep, it gets to me every time I think about it. Especially when I found out he had denied assaulting me to the police. They really just go into denial about themselves and get on with their lives. Well fancy living in a mind like that, it would be awful. At least we can say we are good people, who love and are loyal. I would much rather be a victim of DA than a perpetrator of it – being someone capable of that kind of behaviour is not something I would ever want to be. They are broken, not us – we just have to put our pieces back together and let them destroy their own lives – not ours.
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that is absolutely true.. horrible evil lying parasites i really hope karma is on their heels
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It will – I already have the image of my ex in a jail cell for 24 hours…even if he isn’t charged…that thought keeps me going. I’m sure your ex will get what he deserves sooner rather than later, but don’t waste any energy on him, he isn’t worth it but you are. Your mental wellbeing is incredibly important during this time so try to stay positive and practice self care, be kind to yourself and do things you love doing for YOU. He is a waste of space, you are the most important thing.
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i am trying my best im working to sort the house out fix the mess that he has left all the botched jobs that he done. i have booked a holiday with my friend i am trying to put things in place to lookforward too. i am just so sad that i let someone go for him someone who would never of treated me this way. hind site is wonderful. we live we love and we regret but the best thing is we learn..
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the best revenge is to live your life well – promise yourself thats what youll do. this is about you now. use it as a blank page – what do you want? what do you want to acheive now? for you. take each day as it comes and for now do what you have to do to get through – until suddenly youll start to have better days more of the time. count your blessing everyday too – i did at this stage and it really helps. youve had a big repreive and slowly as you build your life again(for the better) youll say thank god hes gone xxxx best thing youve EVER done. i saw my ex in street not long agao and i felt nothing he was like a starnger and at one point say (detail removed by moderator) years ago i was on my hands and knees begging him to come back (trauma bonded anxiety drove me to that) not love xxxxx i know that now – it was never love just FOG
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oh my god you are so right. i have done that myself begged in the past until something snapped i took control. the zero contact is the best thing yet changing my number changing my shifts and location i work my boss has been AMAZING with his support. reading my posts and others today has helped me rationalise my feelings… its the is he going to have the audacity to knock on my front door give me a sob story. its almost (detail removed by moderator) since i took control. took my life back. that anxiety i feel is the waiting hes been too quiet. 1. my suspicions are right hes a new play thing. 2. hes planning a big return.. its the not knowing
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just know what your going to do – forget what hes doing – he might turn up but call the police. have a plan in place so you know what to do xx make it easy on yourself block him xx i know its not easy but you know its best and if he comes back into your life in any way all the anxiety will come back again – maybe worse xx my exs name makes my joints hurt! anything to do with him makes me ill xxxx
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best thing ever, i had to change my number the police didn’t turn up they totally let me down. i emailed the chief inspector got absolutely no reply… disgusting and they wonder why there is deaths from DA
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nothing will get done not wasting my time. but if he turns up it will be a 999 job and i will tell them i asked for help from day dot
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