29th July 2020 at 4:43 pm #111184LosingbattleParticipant
So its (detail removed by moderator) into taking him back. I can’t bring myself to break up with him just through sheer fear alone. I know now how much I hate him but I’m terrified because I know what hes like. His drinking is still bad too. He even drink drives and I’ve put several anonymous reports to the police regarding this but nothing has happened. In the hope that he gets into trouble for it giving me an excuse to get rid. I’ve even been looking at places to live near my mum planning to leave one day when hes at work. But at the same time I don’t want to leave mine and the kids home. Mood swings have started again gradually. Just little comments about me going to my familys house to visit which he never liked. It’s not necessarily violent outbursts I’m afraid of but the way he shouts and name calls which was really hard the last time we split
30th July 2020 at 10:55 am #111221LisaMain Moderator
I just want to send some support as I can see you are struggling at the moment.
It seems clear you accept and know his behaviour is abusive and therefore has you thinking of what options you may have to leave safely with your children.
Starting the process of leaving and even getting help (as you know you’ve done it before) can be overwhelming. A good place to start going over your options and making a ‘safety plan’ to leave, could be speaking to a local domestic abuse support worker. This is a free service and they will support you with you and your children’s safety as priority. You can search for your local group here. You may want to consider the option of going into a refuge/safe house with your children. You can find out more about refuge here. Be aware your local domestic abuse service can help do searches for vacancies for you, or even help you approach your local housing authority and advocate that you are in priority need to be rehoused.
If his abusive behaviour escalates and you feel in immediate need to be safe, do not hesitate to call the police on 999. From here, you can be put in touch with domestic abuse services that can then look at your need for safe, alternative accommodation.
I hope this helps. keep safe and keep posting to let us know how you get on.
All the best,
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