I’ve been out of the relationship for a while now but there are still reasons that contact is needed even though its through a 3rd party. When he wants something there’s always something in that message of why it isn’t his fault, that’s something has happened, something needs to change. Along with a reason to feel sorry for him. Does this ever stop?
It’s something I didn’t see in the relationship something that was used and I ended up doing things I was uncomfortable with. Weeks go by with nothing and there’s something every day.
Unfortunately this inability to take personal responsibility is typical with abusers and it’s not something that he’s likely to choose to change. However, I want to highlight how positive it is that you’ve recognised his pattern of behaviour and the way he uses manipulation. This is the first step in being able to choose how you want to respond when he uses this tactic and is some great progress.
Yes they use all sorts of tactics to keep the control. The excuses he makes up will never be his fault as that’s how abusers are, they have a need to win, they are not capable of loving ina healthy way and that is not your fault or responsibility, he is an adult.
I am zero contact, children too, it was the only way I could navigate freeing us (children and I) with less damage as my husband also continued in any way he could.. he even threatened suicide (I rang the police to ask them to do a welfare check, that stopped him feeling ‘suicidal’ all if a sudden he felt better 🤔
Keep posting ❤️