2nd November 2020 at 8:34 am #115919
It was (detail removed by moderator) that I phoned the police after he had hit me and I’ve not seen him again. I’ve fled from the house. Made myself homeless. Living at my sons and in debt as he used my credit. And I’m still feeling sorry for him. I’m also crying all the time. Can’t sleep so got some anti depressants from the doctors. (Detail removed by moderator) I left an (detail removed by moderator) abusive marriage and on the rebound jumped into a new relationship. He said he would never hit or touch a woman. I feel so stupid and like I have let everyone down. Myself my kids. Do I have punch me on my forehead.
2nd November 2020 at 8:36 am #115921KIP.Participant
Hi Misti, is there any way you can have him removed from your home. Have you had legal advice about an occupation order? Talk to your local women’s aid and see if they can help with support and legal advice. Rights of Women have a free legal helpline And website. Channel that anger into getting him out and convicted and help accountable
2nd November 2020 at 1:34 pm #115938
It was rented and I had moved to be near his home town etc. Moved back to near my family so had to give up the house. Thankyou though. I have had some legal advice
2nd November 2020 at 4:09 pm #115943Same-againParticipant
Hey Misti, just thought I’d say hi. As my name suggests I too have gone from one abuser… to another.
Yeah, it’s tough on the old self esteem but I honestly think when they (talking about latest here) meet ya and they become aware of past they think yay! This one will be easy coz she’s put up with it before AND she’ll be even more likely to paper over the cracks out of shame.
What do you reckon? I think I’m right. Sad isn’t it but I do think we possibly present as an easy victim – boundaries (not present or strong enough) etc.
It’s super embarrassing or at least that’s how I feel. Ashamed. Not once, but twice ffs. I did do a bit of research and what is in play is unconsciously we look for what we know, what seems familiar. Argh!!!
I got an even worse one second time round. I didn’t think it was possible but I actually managed to downgrade – or – upgrade to a real nasty pasty. Not that the 1st wasn’t, just this one was worse.
Well, may he rot in hell for all the pain he has caused. Hope you’re ok Misti and me-I’m taking each day at a time.
3rd November 2020 at 2:56 am #115954
Thanks. It’s like you say just so super embarrassing. I guess that makes sense that they think we will put up with it and to be honest I did at first. It just creeped in We were only together (detail removed by Moderator) and so nice at first.
It took me (detail removed by Moderator) years to get out the first time and I still find myself feeling sorry for him.
One day at a time is all I will do right now – just got to find me right now.
Hope you are ok too.
3rd November 2020 at 7:11 am #115956KIP.Participant
Take a look at the Freedom Programme online. Living with the Dominator is a good book too. It might help with your confidence too x
3rd November 2020 at 7:16 pm #115971
Thankyou all. Really helps to hear I’m not on my own. Will look up the programme and book xx
18th November 2020 at 11:03 pm #116513FacingRealityAtLastParticipant
you are not on yr own xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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