- This topic has 8 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
I’m sorry I feel like I’m posting trivial stuff but I do need to get this off my chest. I’ve made such a mistake in being honest at work about my past -they know I was abused and I was stalked while at work! By my ex his calls were allowed to come through. They know I went through a melt down and then a custody dispute. I was simply shunted out but the tittle tattle I feel is horendous. Looks across the room etc. I explained that I hadn’t been sleeping well at all lately and it was put to me infront of everyone -ahh more problems?? I’m guessing 😨
How are we supposed to recover when we’re constantly fighting this bully culture -this evasive way off thinking, it must be wonderful to have had a care free life, but unfortunately I haven’t xx it’s not until this falls on someone’s door step that they realise how hard this situation is to deal with in many ways.maybe this is chronic shame as discussed before – I don’t know I honestly wish I had pretended everything was OK to my work colleagues but I couldn’t possibly have hidden how desperate I once felt. Thanks for letting me get this out xx I’m exasperated
Love diymum xx 💕
-
Hi DIYmum,
As the saying goes “Walk a mile in my shoes…”
I think you’ll find 99.9% of the people victimising you wouldn’t last 5 minutes if they did walk in your shoes. And you know what? In my humble opinion they are just as bad as the perpetrators of our abuse.
If I knew somebody had suffered at the hands of a supposed loved one , I wouldn’t make them feel like they’re being tarred and feathered and I reckon anyone else on this forum wouldn’t either. You would empathise and comfort them.
What does that tell us? That if you want to find the nicest most caring people, they are the ones abusers surround themselves with.So don’t feel uncomfortable, you are a caring individual who was preyed on. And what these smug people forget is…it could happen to them too.
You are 100% stronger than most of these people. Take comfort in that and pray that they are fortunate enough never to encounter a person like we have ever in their lifetime.
xx -
Hi DIYmum, Your colleagues are being very insensitive towards you, I would put up my walls high up and only talk about well anything really, mostly professional stuff, anything but your personal life, feelings, anything that happens at home. Leave your private life at the door for your own protection.
-
I so much appreciated your post, and all posts on this thread and generally here.
It is such a balancing act, figuring out who to tell, and how and how much to tell them.
Reading your post diy mum – I feel like saying I got it wrong too on many an occasion…
mmoments when I told someone I thought was really nice, a new friend just because I had difficulty with certain questions like:
‘how long have you lived here…’…
met with the jaw drop response frome one person. don’t think I will ever forget it…
others did not understand…
I’m trying to accept and move forward from this…
Posters on here are right when they say, the fault is theirs not yours…
It is THEM that have the problem, not you.
You did what you felt was right at the time.
You have had more than your share of suffering as us all on here.
And yes, would like to see them deal with it (or rather not, as I wouldn’t wish it on anyone)
but we need respect for doing what we do…
the fact that you have turned up for work at all is something to celebrate
big hug if you like…
ftc
x -
Hi DM,
What an awful reception of what could have been such a wonderful moment of trust between colleagues 🙁 It’s so disappointing, I feel I’m at a loss for words. And you are so right, we should be encouraging environments where being honest about why we aren’t sleeping well or are having an off-day, feeling a bit down would be welcome and met with understanding. Sadly, I just don’t think many people can fathom how to handle that information and so it’s easier to be shun or avoid. It’s a shame really, because yes, us who have been abuse care deeply and our response should they have told us something horrible had happened to them, would be completely different.
Wishing you peaceful nights – and better colleagues!
-
thanks so much for all the responses ladies – it means a lot. I will be keeping myself to myself from now on – there is one new girl who has just poured her heart out to me today but im not going to reciprocate – im sticking to my close friends and to only the ones who ‘get it/me’
This isny easy to just pick up the peaces when so much has happened but im thinking well so many people are much much worse than me xx love and hug well received xx diymum
-
-
Hi diymum@1
There’s a certain kind of person who trusts, loves, listens and helps , my psychologist called them ”sponges”. We take on other people’s troubles and try to help, and end up taking on much more than we can handle. People tend to tell us their problems coz they feel we are compassionate, that we won’t hurt them. B
But the flip side is that we get used, we get hurt, and we’re thought of as weak or soft. Bullies seek our type out as we feed their needs PERFECTLY!
In a business environment, unfortunately, we’re viewed the same. Bosses & colleagues think we can’t handle leadership or pressure or decisions…..
It is what it is. SO I tell no one until I HAVE to.
Work colleagues are not our friends.
It’s like school….we didn’t like EVERYone in our class, did we?!! Same goes for the office. -
yeh your right and i was thinking you know who cares they are nothing to me. in a few years time i wont be in that environment anymore. i was accused of being too nice today, i am polite and i do treat people as i would expect to be treated. im not going to change i know that – i am who i am all i can do is spot the signs of abusers and bullies and stay well clear xx i dont think i will ever be cynical because i do believe there are good people out there xx
much love diymum
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
