Feeling thankful

[backtome]

I just wanted to write down how thankful I feel that my situation is slightly different to a lot of you. On the one hand I’ve been told that what I’ve (and my young daughter) suffered/am suffering is emotional & domestic abuse which is hard to understand and come to terms with, in my head I’m just weak and don’t stand up for myself.

On the other hand, I own my own house, I bought it before I met my ex. I work full time and have a good job and I am SO lucky that no matter how badly I treated my friends and family they never abandoned me and they are all still there for me now. After reading a lot of the posts in here, I just wanted to say how thankful I feel and that I hope you all get your happy ever afters. I am still struggling to get mine, but I’m half way there.

Good luck everyone. x

[KIP.]

Thank you for your post. Without the support of my family and friends and especially the ladies on here, I’ve no doubt things would have been a lot harder if not impossible. It’s very hard to accept that someone we love and we thought loved us in return could turn out to deliberately abuse us. It’s beyond devastating to realise this. But this is the turning point. To realise that he would destroy you and have no empathy for you. Just to get his own way. Be kind to yourself and go no contact X

[Lightness]

hello backtome

KIP has given you good advice

You say:
‘in my head I’m just weak and don’t stand up for myself’ – and yet you don’t sound at all weak. It takes great strength to survive an abusive relationship. Also, you have achieved all that you have IN SPITE OF HIM. You have been abused while working full time in a good job – what incredible strength!

AND despite what you have been through, and despite living with someone who probably shoved his negativity down your throat – you are still positive for all that you have – well done you – that is your inner strength and the light in you that he could not put out – the light that he wanted to steal for himself.

Please allow yourself to acknowledge what you HAVE been through and please be kind to yourself. You have experienced trauma and you do need to heal from that. You might also want to read about putting in place boundaries after emotional abuse – to help you ‘stand up for yourself’ and to prevent you falling into another abusive relationship in the future.

Well done backtome
Lightness x

[backtome]

Thank you so much Lightness, that’s definitely a different way of looking at it!

I try really hard to be positive, especially around my little girl as he is a very negative person and is very critical. I think writing things down that you’re thankful for helps to maintain the positivity, especially in times like this. Although there are lots of times when I struggle to see anything positive.
x

[Author]

Posts