Feeling that people are not how you think they are

[teatime]

A family member died recently. She was not a near relative but I helped her lots and was a kind supportive friend, fixed things round the house as I felt sorry for her as she struggled to cope. I was very upset when she died, it seemed much more upset than anyone else as I was very fond of her .
I never previously thought about her will and hoped she had just left plenty to her daughter who has MH issues and acted as her carer and housekeeper. I will no doubt go on helping her daughter as I always have…
It’s just… She left another family member in the same family position as me something in her Will, but me- nothing.The other family member never saw her. I think it is some jewellery.
She left each grandchild a very small sum of money, but two of the grandchildren were amazingly kind and more like sons as they were always visiting and looking after her. The others just stayed away.
I am just feeling like, she was really very stingy now.
It appears she was very rich and possibly never even needed my help. I now have issues as to the way she allowed her vulnerable adult daughter to act as her carer without ensuring she inherited the house where she has always lived.
I just feel a bit sick to be honest.
I was financially abused when I was married. I was kept with no money to spend on my own needs. I was allowed to spend money on food to feed him. I had few clothes and one pair of shoes. I used to sew clothes from remnants I bought in a charity shop locally. A lot of the time, I was actually cold in winter, having no coat. I used to shop without a car. My friend’s not well daughter always does this. Sometimes I feel her life mirrors mine.
I don’t really feel my friend was very nice now to be honest.She should have left her two grandchildren who helped her lots more( they both struggle due to having an ill mother) and ensured her poor daughter had enough to live out her days in the same house. As it is, she’s divided it, causing problems for those left to carry the can.I feel like she thought nothing of me, or the two lads, or even her daughter.

[teatime]

I noted her daughter has thrown out all her mother’s clothes and would not attend the funeral,and am wondering if she feels let down too, and resents her mother,

[Anonymous]

She sounds very n**********c to me. That’s how they are. And they use people with empathy until they have used them all up. We feel needed and they take advantage of that. Quite sure her daughter saw her for what she was, obviously. I had a stepmother and a biological mother who were the same. Everything was about them. I affectionately call them “spider queens”.

It was funny, when I stopped allowing my biological mother rule me anymore. She’d always call and say initially how she hadn’t heard from me in awhile (like a day ago…) then she’d go into everything that concerned her, blah, blah and then at the end – Oh and so tell me about you! Then she’d have to go for some reason. Sooo, I got to where, she’d call and after about 3 minutes of her usual, I’d interrupt and say, someone’s at the door, my pot just boiled over, have to go to the bathroom, etc. I’d go over to her house and just when she’d asked me to tell her about my day, she’d interrupt me about 15 times, or just go do something else in the middle of it so I started getting up and going outside every time she started talking about herself or I’d go home with a headache if the treatment continued. She got really upset but tough. Too bad. My rules. My boundaries. When I moved away she never contacted me again. She knew the gig was up. That was fine by me. Be glad you are out of her clutches!

[Author]

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