Feeling the fool

[White.com]

He left me again yesterday with our two young babies on my own!! I have 3 older girls and feel very guilty for putting them through it all again and watching me cry over him again!! I just couldn’t cope with the hurt so begged him to come back even after the small bit of violence but mostly mental abuse including requiring DNA testing to prove our first baby was his and then stating our second baby is not his now!! He would wake me up in the night with his crazy accusations even though I’m already up 2-3 times with our baby! I would spend all day worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing to provoke another attack of abuse. He would spend all night going through my phone looking for so called evidence!! He won’t give up the drugs for us he said he loved us more than anything in the world and I’m heartbroken all over again rock bottom and feel like the biggest looser in the world for believing him! Worst of all I just wanted my family together and feel like I grieve all night every time I wake to feed the baby in the night I have to realise it’s all happened again and cry about him but I don’t know why!!
Feels no very overwhelmed about carrying on alone now don’t know how I can do it

Reading all of the posts in the forum makes me feel I’m not alone

[Borntobefree]

Hi white.com
You are not a loser.. I gave my ex one more chance .. but the abuse got worse .
These abusers do not change..they put on a good show ..then make us feel worthless ..

You are stronger than you think
Concentrate on you and your babies ..sending hugs x

[White.com]

Thank you very much I’m trying so hard but as you say left feeling worthless again!!

I just hope everyday will bring ease as people keep telling me I think I will have to stop contact with the babies for a while as he’s not able to care for them alone as he can’t cope and I can’t see him right now as I’m too weak

[Borntobefree]

White.com
You are free from abuse small steps forward
My ex made me feel worthless too ..
You can do this. Weakness is strength within

Have you got any support in place?

[White.com]

Family do t speak to me because of him and friends don’t understand I actually get more support from his family who are ashamed of him and dvap worker is away at the moment sick of crying
You sound really strong I hope I will be one day

[Confused123]

hey hun

get support around you, speak to your health visitor or gp, it is hard but u can do this without him

[Freedomfighter]

Hi, just wanted to say you’re not a loser. That’s just what they want us to believe. I bet like most of us, you have done at least 90% of the day to day care for your children and all the house work too. What exactly do they bring to the relationship? Money and a whole lot of stress and work, but mostly Stress!!
You can do this 😊

[Borntobefree]

Hi white.com
Just checking in to see how you are

I have good days bad days …hun
It’s not easy but I happy I free from his abuse

I just take day by day i still have a long way to go .. ptsd is stopping me living a normal life
You ain’t alone we are all here for you X

[Author]

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