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Hello, do things like the war effect anyone else when thinking of leaving and being alone.
I know we are lucky it’s not here I can’t imagine what Ukrainians are going through but still it’s so unsettling just as we feel covid was getting safer.
It makes me terrified to face life alone.
I imagine dying alone I haven’t got kids.
Sometimes worry if it’s better to stay and not be alone even though I know how he treats me is wrong.
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Please try to calm your mind and take a deep breath when you have these thoughts,
I am a survivor of physical and mental abuse and can honestly say once the heartbreak is over it feels so refreshing to find yourself again… who says you will die alone? People in relationships may die alone… but you have to be happy with the life you have loved in that moment… I’m only guessing here as thankfully my time isn’t up yet 🙂 but if he makes you feel horrible or scared and you was on your death bed would it comfort you knowing this person who hasn’t really treated you fair or nice is sat beside you?
It’s a difficult process being with someone who dosnt make you feel great. But focus on today and try and think what YOU want out of life x*x -
I’m sure any survivor of abuse would say being with the abuser is much, much lonelier (and scarier) than being alone.
In society we are fed lies that the ultimate goal is to be in a relationship and to not be single. The reality is there are countless people who may look happily married or look like they have the perfect life but in reality they’re miserable, some depressed or even suicidal.
My therapist told me the most important relationship you can have is the one with yourself.
I know it’s scary (and I feel hypocritical even saying this because I haven’t left my abusive partner yet!) but there is so much happiness and peace waiting for you on the other side ♥️ -
Being alone to me sounds like heaven.
Id love it to be free to live how i want too to sind cry scream dance oh how amazing would that be?
Leaving can open so many doors sweetie yes its scarey yes its lonley but arent you lonley now?
I am I am so alone so afraid so sad here still with my husband after decades of abuse.
And yes i am too a hypocrite as im still here but i have kids and just cant leave them wont leave them. Leaving wont make you lonley, leaving will make you free. Xxxxx -
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Hello – just wanted to add there is nowhere that feels more lonely than being in an abusive marriage. Besides you can get busy when you get out and volunteer meet new people take up new hobbies. It isn’t easy and it takes time but life is so short and precious as this horrific war shows us so tragically. Leaving is a process it only happens when you are ready x Can you do small things that look after you – take a tech break enjoy a cuppa or a bath try some mindfulness apps go for a walk? X*x
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Hello
Yes I do look after myself thank you for the kind comments, I am having lots of Councelling I think my they may be intrusive thoughts about bombs etc Iv had lots of bad nightmares about war over the years.
It’s just the hurdle of actually leaving us t it.
It feels like a huge wall I need to get over.
Thank you I hope you are all alright too
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