- This topic has 7 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 1 month ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Feeling the after effects of how stressful it is getting my daughter into school at the moment and fighting the urge to ring this man again. It’s like wanting a n instant hit of something to make me feel good and nothing else works. I’ve had a lot of time sitting around quite a bit and watching telly (only good things, no news) and it’s like now I have the inclination to actually do useful things, and a day where my daughter is at schoo, my mind and body won’t let me, but fixates on this man.
So I’m posting on here instead of dialling his number!
Thanks ladies
xx
-
I know that feeling. You put all you effort into encouraging and supporting and all you want is her to go out the door and feel safe and supported and happy in school. On the days she goes you’ll be relieved – for a moment – then start wondering if tomorrow will be as good or will it be back to square one again with anxiety taking over.
You’ll be mentally tired and bodily tired too and its easy to slip into the old ways and contact him. But don’t – you’ve got enough going on without him adding to your stress (or hers!). Watch some tV have a cuppa make a list of what you need to do and put that thought right out of your mind.
Thinking of you xx -
Hi Eve1!
I think I’m in the same boat today… I have been doing so well. NC and haven’t even looked at my email (I have set an auto sort to separate folder so I can’t see if he’s sent anything) for more than a week… except for just now. And there’s nothing there! It’s like in missing for a fix – I want to hear his pathetic excuses. I need to know he’s hurting. I keep going over the ways he hurt me. And I keep telling my brain to stop fixating but I just can’t stop coming back to him (thoughts-wise not actually!) today.
I haven’t had a cry today- I usually feel better after a cry but the tears won’t come today. Maybe I spent them all on child’s wee pet that died recently?
TV numbing would be good right now but am supposed to be working!I’ve got my competent ‘I’m here’ face on but I’m not really here…
Hug for you – stay strong. We can do this.
We can. We will. x -
-
Hi Eve,
On days you feel like this, take it easy.
Remember to have faith in yourself. You don’t need the attentions of a man who isn’t respectful to you. I know how hard it is at times, though. You just need to hold onto yourself and believe in yourself. Take a deep breath. Your presence means so much to your daughter – even though it might not always seem like it. Just you being there throughout the ups and downs. That’s what will get her through eventually.
Xx
-
-
Can totally empathise.
Just come out of relationship where he constantly contacted me, not really in a loving way, mainly to check up on me and pick on all the things I was doing wrong. But he was always there. First thing in the morning. Through the night and all day even when I was at work or with my daughter’s. No w he isn’t it’s a deafening silence.
I have to keep reminding myself how horrible it has been, that the contact was out right nasty most of the time. I try and do that so I don’t contact him. Then of course I have to relive it and remember how it felt to be picked on constantly and made to feel worthless and sneaky and boring and all the other things he told me I was. So it’s not easy.
It’s like a kind of grief. You have to say goodbye to a person you were intertwined with, you have to say goodbye to any hope you had invested in it getting better.
Go easy on yourself. It’s hard. Let your daughter bring you joy. Also it’s kind of hard to have to carry on but it in a way it makes it easier. Yesterday I was dreading work and picking my girls up from school and all that hectic stuff. But actually other than some low moments it was the best, life affirming distraction ever.
Take care. Try not to contact him
But don’t feel bad for wanting to. Everytime my phone pings I jump for it, half hoping it’s him. It’s normal to feel that wayBig hugs
-
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
