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So I stopped the contact due to my daughter allegations of harm and bullying when she goes to dad.social services are now investigating and I am waiting to see cafcass again. I have spoken with school and asked they don’t hand her over to him. They have refused and said they have to stick by the court order which says he has contact days too. So.he is due to collect her from school (detail removed by moderator) and have her for (detail removed by moderator) days. I have told.him.contact is still stopped until investigations are complete but I’m scared he won’t listen and will still collect her tomorrow maybe even early.
I was advised email court and ask them to suspend the current order until safeguard Checks are done but they are not getting back to me in time -
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This dosent help the situation at all. I was told the same that the school cant stop him taking my child. We had a court order that was reduced to nil only because he gave up. It sounds dramatic but could the police DV team help? Just until the order is changed. The lawyer should really take this back to court ASAP for the safety of your kids. Theyre going to be distressed and theres no real need for him to do that except to get at you. Not sure if you work? but for now id be at the school extra early for pick up and alert the police of the situation. Ive told my daughter if her dad ever pitched up at school to go back in and if need be lock herself in the toilets. This sounds ridiculous in this day and age as safe guards need to be better around schools, but theyre not. It is her right not to be forced into going with him against her will. The police and ss have to uphold that xx I hope you get on ok, I exhausted all avenues with this, someone will listen. Be firm and let them know you are all terrified of him and that you fear for your safety. xx diy mum
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I am so sorry to hear what you and your child are going through. Such a difficult situation and you just want her to be happy and safe. She has a right to be protected. Haven’t had to deal with this but did you talk to the actual Safeguarding Lead at school and say there is New Safeguarding concerns for your child around emotional abuse? Maybe they could talk to the Social Worker as a professional about a new emergency plan ? Surely they don’t want to be responsible for allowing her to go to an abusive home.
Otherwise I agree with DIY and ask
police for help .
All the best
Apricot poppy x -
Thank you everyone. Luckily he actually listened for once and didn’t show up. Probably as he knows he can use it in court now and say i breached the order and stopped the contact. He thinks he is clever like that. I am shocked that school couldn’t have done more for safeguarding. There should be a time.that school don’t have to go by the court order like this time when you say you stopped contact due to bullying and physical abuse. I just hope this time cafcass investigate properly and don’t lie and make things up like last time which is how he got 50 50 care..
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I’m glad that you were able to do this. Even though mine was an informal agreement and the school knew we were in a refuge they refused to help.i ended up having to turn up before school ended and hiding on the other side of the city.
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The government really needs to look at thus side of dv. It certainly is a safety risk that they’re just not taking seriously xx it’s very frustrating. I’m not sure if they still send out letters about school activities and the report card? I thought about taking his parental responsibilities away but I’m a bit scared to rock the boat. Plus the cost of court ! Xx
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Courts don’t like taking PR away from dad’s. It’s hard to do these days even if a man abuses his kids courts like them to still have their dad. After (detail removed by moderator) of me stopping my little girl seeing her dad she has become more happy and settled back down.. Courts need to hear the kids voices no matter what their age.
I have to go back to court (detail removed by moderator) I just really hope they listen to me and the kids this time. (Court detail removed by moderator). -
Your right it’s contact at all costs. But that’s only until the child becomes seriously anxious about going to contact.Have you looked up the helping hands form you can get that from the law society. That’s the child’s voice. The child’s welfare has to be paramount over the fathers especially if theyre getting affected. B****y rediculous even men who have been jailed have pr, those rights should really be taken from them at this point automatically. The damage theses guys do is immeasurable. My daughter hasn’t seen her dad for a long time and I don’t think she’s recovered (or ever will) from what he did xx 💕 💕 DIY
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They will listen surviving make it you goal to make them take stock of what’s actually happening here. They always use the parental alienation trick. We know better that they use contact to further abuse you xx it’s proven fact xx if they were truly interested in the kids then why put you (their mother) through this and them. It’s horrible but all I can say there is an end to this if the situation gets worse and can’t be resolved xx
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Gets me so angry and fearful that the rights of the father are placed above the welfare of the child, things need to change, we are still not getting it right for our children. Our head seems to be of a similar mind, she sees us both as the parents, I feel like she doesn’t listen or take me seriously, like what’s the point – it’s hearsay, your word against his. Leaves me feeling like school is no support. Its shocking when there is physical violence – what needs to happen here?! Good to know mum’s on the case, keep going Surviving.
Read this if you haven’t already…
file:///C:/Users/AM/Desktop/FINAL-Safe-not-sorry-FOR-WEB-JAN-2016.pdf -
Fizzy I hope your okay ☺
I suppose your expected to present them for contact but if they’re scared you can’t force them.It looks like the law has changed as far as cross examination but that’s only the tip of the ice berg. The safety of the kids has to come first. I think where we’re at is give contact a try if it dosent work for the child ie they’re unhappy or becoming anxious/physically ill.Then they have have to reassess at this stage of going back to court. From where I can see it they get one chance to prove they can be responsible and change. The problem is they never do take responsibility xx 💕 DIY ✌
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