Feels insurmountable…

[DjangoPony]

I need to get out of my marriage. I’ve accepted that. With (removed by moderator) kids (removed by  moderator) and my family in another (removed by moderator) country it feels like an immense hurdle though… logically it’s simple (book flights, take kids, go) but I just can’t get the strength to actually do it.

Can anyone else relate?

[KIP.]

Absolutely. Can you pretend you want to take the kids on holiday? Once over there you can take some space to work though your future. How do you eat an elephant? One teaspoon at a time x it seems overwhelming but break it down and get some help from women’s aid x

[Escapee]

I know it doesn’t seem like it at the moment but the strength will come from somewhere. I have know idea how I managed to pull it off but once you’ve decided it’s like you get a super boost!
I crashed once I’d reached my end goal but I did it!

[Letsgetreal]

Hi,
I can very much so relate to this.My family are abroad and they don’t even know what I am going through in my relationship as I don’t want to worry them as they are helpless.I’ve gone through the scenario of booking the flights and leaving the country with my kids for good many times in my head but in reality it is just not that easy as it sounds.It would be a new start but I would have to start from scratch (literally) plus this is the kids home.They don’t know any different and I know they would be suffering if they wouldn’t see their dad anymore.

[HopeLifeJoy]

Hi both DjangoPony and Letsgetreal

Legally you are not permitted to ‘remove’ your children from their country of residence without either a court order or your husband’s permission. Sounds perhaps medieval but the same would apply to him too.
Otherwise you’re running the risk of being accused of international (parental) child abduction by your husband using the Hague Abduction Convention.

Thread carefully within your rights, back up your every step legally.
I’d suggest both of you to contact Women’s Aid, Rights of Women and also GlobalARRK for advice.

Sending you strength

[Lisa]

Good Morning Djangopony and Letsgetreal,

I just want to confirm that HopeLifeJoy’s advice is correct. Sadly you are not allowed to remove your children from this country without his consent as it can be considered as child abduction. If you are feeling unsafe then Women’s Aid can help to find a refuge for you and your children and the helpline can help to talk to you about all your options and support you with whatever you decide is best for you and your family.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[DjangoPony]

I’ve contacted GlobalArrk anyway, just waiting for a response. I just feel absolutely sick at all of this right now.

[HopeLifeJoy]

I feel for you deeply, I understand what you are going through.
Your best bet is to be treated as any local would and as domestic abuse victim for now.
You need your head space and safety to think clearly and give yourself a break from all this hell, if you have the possibility consider moving in with friends or a refuge. Just darling pls don’t leave the country yet.
You could ask your family members to come over to help you out with caring for your young children so you’re keeping your energy to gather informations on how to best move forward.
Do hide your passports and birth certificates, hide all valuable documents.
Password protect your phone and set it to lock immediately when unused and turn off all notifications so he won’t be able to read any popping up on your locked screen.
Keep strong, keep your head held high, there will be a solution for you.
Keep posting
Sending you strength

[Author]

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