Filming me

[soconfused2]

I have been given the silent treatment for a long time (many many months) and am in the process of divorcing (but stuck in the same house). I have basically given up trying to speak to him, but today I needed to ask if he had (detail removed by moderator) already. I just asked a simple, one sentence question in a friendly way. He got his phone out and started to film me and was saying leave me alone. I repeated that I was just asking about the (detail removed by moderator) and then walked away. Am I going mad? Why is he filming me? Is it abusive?

[Bananaboat]

Mine did this. He’s trying to film you reacting so he has ‘evidence’ of you getting angry or upset, it’s to back up his version of being the victim and support his false narrative about you. Sounds like you’re doing best thing in just keeping any interaction factual and try to avoid his tricks to react. If you can pop your phone on record in your pocket before you talk to him that might be some protection. The worst part is that your question was about your shared child’s health, but just shows you how low they go. x

[Watersprite]

OMG my ex did this – he did covert weird filming stuff 😪 but also trying to provoke and film when he thought his grip was loosening. He was vile collecting evidence because he knew one day he would get a knock on the door from police because he knew exactly who he is.
Sorry you are going through this – typical abuser behaviour. You are not mad. Trust yourself x

[Hereforclarity]

I think this is actually quite common. I’m sorry he’s doing that to you. It sounds as if he’s trying to get a reaction and capture it at the same time to “prove” some kind of victim status.

I caught my ex recording our conversations when he was in the middle of provoking me/being emotionally abusive.

It’s exhausting trying to keep on top of what games they’re playing in the moment but it sounds like you’re doing the right thing as hard as it must be. Giving less and less in my reactions was the ticket out for me eventually. I hope you can look after yourself in the meantime xx

[soconfused2]

Thank you so much for your replies. I’m so full of self doubt. They have really helped. I hope you are all doing ok.

[Bananaboat]

Living together at this stage was a new kind of difficult, it’s like some kind of torture with all their bad side and little good (I’d see the odd day where I knew he was just testing the water) but it will get better when you get out, stay strong x

[Shura]

hi, my ex was doing it, he was hiding in (detail removed by moderator) one morning, scared me to death that morning, verbally abused me saying derogative comments about my looks as usual , then started filming me when i reacted with a huge smile on his face. i got myself together got my phone and started filming back, to my question why hes doing it he said to show the behavior. the behavior is after the insults and me being absolutely in shock that he was in (detail removed by moderator) in a first place.
Another video he made after insulting me in front of our child after forcefully entering my house. i dont think police would take these videos seriously as all have been made in my house but ill be honest my reaction was not great to say the least so from an outsiders perspective looking in they would actually think im crazy so his story about me being an abuser would seem truthful x*x

[Bananaboat]

I threatened to film him back and he hit phone out of my hands and pinned me down, so always be careful. They are a bit like trapped animals when their control is slipping and might attack x

[Shura]

thank you, i got the video just when he was leaving so he didnt notice me getting my phone, but when he did he turned back to have “adult” conversation after hed hidden in (detail removed by moderator) and he clearly said this is the reaction hes always had to put up with ignoring the fact that he was the one who was not even supposed to be on my street. we are all in the same boat when it comes to abusers and their lies, them trying to look good to other people and being dependent on options of others.

[Shura]

its strange how they feel the need to support their lies about them being the victim and its never the victim who feels the need to prove anything x*x

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