Final started divorce proceedings. Stonewalled

[Stuckinturmoil]

After telling my husband for years I am unhappy with the way he treats me. Seeing 3 different counsellors because I couldn’t believe I was being abused. And telling him I had seen a solicitor. He is now stonewalling me since he got the divorce letter (detail removed by Moderator). He has not asked why I am divorcing him. He has not said he loves me or can we work it out. He is acting like I am the worst person in the world.
I do not know how I am going to get through the next few months living with him. It’s such an awful atmosphere.

[Lisa]

Hello Stuckinturmoil,

Thank you for sharing what you’re going through.
It sounds like your partner is creating a very tense and hostile environment at home. It can be draining and upsetting to live in these conditions.
It’s good to hear you are taking steps in accessing support and beginning to acknowledge and confirm his behaviour as abusive.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Twix]

This is a risky time & where most women will tell you they see an increase in the amount of abuse they’re exposed to, all because you’ve taken control & they feel theirs slipping away.
Take care during this time, have your safety plan in place. It’ll be tough but you’ll be supported by everyone here x

[Bambe]

I too have started the divorce process and it’s only been a couple months with little movement.

Just know you’re doing the right thing and freedom will soon be here. It’s kept me pushing through the awful times and the awful atmosphere.

I try to get out the house as much as I can. Keep posting it helps to clear your mind and know you’re not alone.

I’ve found over the last couple of months his moods and actions have changed rapidly so it’s best to have a safety plan for peace of mind.

He’s been the nastiest he’s ever been but the least couple weeks is a different person telling me everything I want to hear and almost swaying my mind.

Stay strong and take each day as it comes. If you ever want to message please do xxxx

[Twitcher]

Hi Stuckinturmoil,

I’m in the same situation as you and Bambe and have never been through anything this painful and exhausting. I served divorce papers in (detail removed by Moderator) and he has tried to stall it any way he can, he won’t leave even though he has somewhere to go, we’ll be divorced in (detail removed by Moderator) and he’s even said he still won’t leave if the house isn’t sold, m living in limbo and constantly terrified. Like you he has never said he loves me or sorry that he scares me he just cares about himself and makeshimselfthe victim, I have the Jekyll and Hyde daily but mostly Jekyll these days. Why can’t he let me be free, I’ve been married for many, many years and abused throughout this time but there’s still a small bit of me inside that he hasn’t destroyed. I completely understand what you’re feeling but please don’t give up hope, you’ve been so strong and brave to get to this point lovely.it just seems never-ending but I’m sure we’ll dig into our reserve strength and get back into the sunshine. Sending you a big hug flower x*x

[Stuckinturmoil]

Thanks for all your replies.
Life is a bit more bearable atm but still nasty digs. I am feeling like I am chickening out and making the wrong decision now. I just wish I knew I was definitely doing the right thing. I feel like counselling is a waste of time and money now as they just tell me the same stuff over and over again. I feel like an expert now in emotional abuse but still struggle to believe it’s happening to me. He keeps threatening to tell the children even though I would rather wait a few weeks until I feel strong enough and know more like what will happen with the house.

I just wish I had a crystal ball and could se my future with and without him.

[Author]

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