Finally I feel I am making some progress!

[Tuppance]

Hi
Thankyou , first of all, for all of your unwavering support. You really have been a lifeline to me.
Since I doubled up my medication last Friday I have gradually become less frantic and full of despair. I also got a call from ARC who have arranged a counselling session next week. It took me 112 calls to get through but finally did which is good. Secondly, after lots more calls I am meeting a Women’s Aid outreach worker late this week. I am really hopeful this will give me the final courage I need to stop being so scared of my kids hatred and rejection and also to be able to deal with his anger and self pity when I tell him I am actually moving out. Today is a much better day ! 🙂🙂🙂

[KIP.]

Well done. You need to build a good support network round you. Including the ladies on here😃

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Tuppance, I am so pleased you are feeling more positive. This forum has been a lifeline for me, together with abuse books that I’ve read & internet links about abuse tactics. I have always had unhappy relationships and have never known any different, I thought an unhappy relationship was normal & you had to work at it. today was my second day of the Freedom Programme and this has made me start to see that all I have had in the past is completely ab-normal. But when I was in the thick of it I could not see that it was abnormal. My last one was a psychopath and a bit more obvious that something was amiss. I should thank him because he has catapulted me onto joining here and attending the programme. I really recommend if you have not done it already for you to register for the freedom programme. I am a women of middle age with many relationships under my belt & it has only come to me now that the majority of these were abusive. It will really help me recognize what is normal healthy behaviour when I am in a relationship. X*X

[gentlespirit]

I totally relate to your situation. Our son told me that he believes his father has changed and I should not hold a grudge and just let go. I am skeptical and told our son that his dad just changed tactics and that he has not really changed. His father has him fooled and now I am the bad person who must have mental issues because I will not let down my guard or be in denial and have abuse amnesia so I will once again be sucked in and allow myself to be manipulated again. I do not want to let myself be degraded or defined by what I do or do not do according to what my abuser wants even though he has proven to have conditioned our two children well and our son is part of his “harem” too.
I am afraid, anxious, and deep down terrified, because I realize that our son is a lot like his father and because I am not being obedient and complying with my behavior my son wants me to see a counselor. He is angry, cold, and threatened to give me the silent treatment- because he wants to believe his dad has changed and just thinks I should forgive him and move on. He doesn’t realize hes being manipulated and putting subtle pressure on me. The situation is so complex yet I cannot afford to let myself be in denial again, its too dangerous.

[gentlespirit]

Keep going forward I support your courage and determination.

[Sadie]

What?
Abuse amnesia.
Is that a real thing?
Completely serious question

[Author]

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