Finally looking for help

[PizzaCrumbs]

I was in an abusive relationship for years, since I was a teen.

Gaslighting, put downs, threats, shoves, you name it, I took it, until finally I couldn’t, I told my family what he was doing, some male relatives bounced into the house, and he left the next day.

I thought I was doing well after that. And in some ways I was. But this weekend, I hit a real low that proved I needed help, and I finally reached out to women’s aid for it.

I’m glad I reached out, and hopefully I can put him in the past where he truly belongs.

[KIP.]

Hey really well done and welcome. Ask your GP about some good councelling too x wish I’d had male relatives to bounce into my house lol. The police did it for me though. It’s tough and a rollercoaster ride to recovery but you will get there. Older and wiser x

[PizzaCrumbs]

Oh my doctor is almost useless, I’ve given up even asking. I’ve had depression for years, and they weren’t great, so the thought of being “yeh hi, my abusive ex left years ago and I’m still being triggered, help.” isn’t appealing. I’ll get there eventually 🙂

[Anonymous]

Hi PizzaCrumbs,

Well done you for opening up to your family and giving yourself a chance for a different life.

In my experience, you never really get over the abuse. Sometimes it will be nice and quiet in your head and sometimes you will be overwhelmed by painful memories or hurtful things he’s said. Especially if you’re not the most confident person… degrading remarks from a man who was supposed to love and encourage you, sadly become part of your DNA then.

All I can say is that however lonely you might feel and however dark the future might seem right now, try to use this time by yourself to learn all you can about abuse (and about yourself!) so that you’ll never end up in an abusive relationship again. I’m trying to do that too at the moment… not always great at it… but trying.

Abuse can be a pattern, also in the life of the victim. I know that from experience… I didn’t invest time in learning about these things after my 10+ years abusive relationship ended… only to find out that I was being mistreated again in a new relationship.

Good luck!

[PizzaCrumbs]

If the guy I’m with now abused me I would walk in a heartbeat. I can’t change him, I can’t fix him and I’m worth SO much more than that.

But this is just being triggered by silly things, avoiding things just in case he’s somewhere near by. I need that part gone. I was with him 10+ years, and he’s been away almost that many too, so it needs to stop so much 🙁

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