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It’s looking likely that I will lose tens of thousands of pounds tied up in a property co-owned with my abuser. I am exploring many legal options.
But never mind, it’s only money and I am glad to be out of the relationship and still alive.
It’s good to be here and able to talk about the impact of all this on my mental health. -
I’m feeling quite despondent about my situation. It’s hard to contact so many people for advice and get the door slammed in my face so many times. I have a low income as I cannot work much with my poor mental health caused by the abuse I have endured. My chances of getting Legal Aid are low. People are happy to commiserate and signpost but nobody wants to do anything further. But what am I going to do about the financial abuse?
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Doing my own research it seems that financial abuse is quite common and the courts and other systems enable abusers to cheat people out of vast sums.
I haven’t been able to get through to any helplines today or received any email replies. A system designed by abusers for abusers.
I’m glad for spending time with other people who have experienced abuse and away from the bad people and their allies.
This situation is taking its toll on my mental and physical health and reminding me of all kinds of horrible things. More flashbacks and nightmares than usual.
It beggars belief how someone can be so cruel to another human being. -
Hi swanlake,
It sounds like you’re doing all that you can to get informed and find help for your situation. I’m glad that you’re finding solace in having the forum to talk to others who understand what it’s like to experience abuse.
There are places that I could suggest for you to contact, but I hear your frustration with signposting and I don’t want to add to that. However, do let me know if you think it would be helpful.
Domestic abuse can massively impact mental health. I hope that you’ve been able to access some support for this, you deserve to be supported.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa -
This sounds very distressing for you. Losing all that money as well as everything else he put you through. I know it’s only money but it just adds to the pain doesn’t it.
I’m not sure why you wouldn’t get legal aid if you are on low income, have you spoken to the legal aid people about if you might qualify for help?
The legal system is so broken. I heard on the tv of someone going to prison for 6 months for drink driving. Luckily they didn’t hurt anyone and of course drink driving is wrong and dangerous… but how can it be justified that they go to prison but someone who caused so much mental and/or physical pain to their partner, can get away with it?
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A solicitor advised me that if I got any money out of my abuser, I would have to repay the legal aid out of that. But if my abuser managed to continue the financial abuse, the legal aid people would not get a payout so they won’t take that risk.
It seems so cruel, how is anyone meant to get any help with financial abuse when the rules are like that?
It is only money and it won’t make my abuser any happier though they might well feel smug and victorious.
It is horrendous what people get away with. They are so devious and the legal tests are so stringent. Though of course we don’t want innocent people punished.
Sometimes when I’m contacting people about the financial abuse it feels like they might not believe me. I’ve been advised that if things go to court the judge might decide in my abuser’s favour!
For the last few weeks it feels like I’ve spent most of my spare time researching and emailing people and getting nowhere and it’s really draining on my mental health.
However I am doing my usual self care, waiting for more counselling and working through an online mental health programme. -
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