Financial help.

[Happiermex]

Hi guys, so I’m (removed by moderator) years out of an abusive relashionship and need some advice! When he had me under his spell he asked my mother to be guarantor for a loan to which she said yes. But he hasn’t being laying it properly and was wondering if there is anyway we can get my mothers name removed 🙁 (removed by moderator) years on and he still controls me! I don’t know what to do!

[Marmalade]

Hi Happiermex, sorry to hear about your situation.
This will depend on the type of loan and the terms. I suggest your mother sees a solicitor who can advise her about what she can do.
Generally speaking lenders don’t like letting guarantors go, especially if a borrower is defaulting. Your mother needs to find out her rights quickly as otherwise she risks the lender seeking the repayments from her.
Good luck.

[Marmalade]

You could also try your local Citizens Advice Bureau. There may be someone there who can give some advice.

[Lisa]

Hi Happiermex,

Sorry to hear about the impact your ex-partner is still creating after separation.

It may be worth speaking to legal advisors that understand the dynamics of domestic abuse. His failure to take responsibility for the loan taken out, may be an example of financial abuse/control. Rights of Women would be good to speak to for free legal advice on this.

The Financial Support Line for Victims of Domestic Abuse is a service specialising in the financial side of domestic abuse. Anyone who has experienced domestic abuse can call for one-off advice regarding debts, benefits and budgeting from the Financial Support Line, or self-refer for ongoing casework on 0808 196 8845 (Mon-Thurs 9am- 5pm).

StepChange are a debt charity, that provide free, confidential and expert debt advice and money guidance, recommend the best solution or service for your circumstances, support you while you deal with your money worries for as long as you need their help, and campaign on your behalf to reduce the risk of debt problems and the harm it causes. They are contactable on 0800 138 1111 (Mon-Fri 8am-8pm, Sat 8am-4pm) or live chat via the website.

Any general support you feel you need around your ex-partner’s controlling behaviour, you can always talk this through with your local domestic abuse service. They are free, so use them as you need. The can provide both emotional and practical help and advice.

I hope this is useful to you.

All the best,

Lisa

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