Financial/emotional/sexual abuse….

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Lovely Survivors,

I am a survivor of emotional/financial/sexual abuse, this forum together with the research that I have done post-split have saved me. Without it all I would have crawled, begged and pleaded someone who treated me worse than rubbish to please take me back. The following links, resources & websites are what helped me, I would encourage you to do all that you can to empower yourselves too. I dumped my ex some months ago now and my days now are free, peaceful, calm and focussed on my future. My days with my ex were traumatic, highly anxious, suspicious and confusing:

Threads on this forum:

1. Can anybody give any examples of gas lighting?
2. Plausible Deniability
3. Intermittent Reinforcement
4 It is not right to walk on eggshells, feel fearful or anxious
5. No Contact
6. I miss him so much
7. Silent Treatment
8. Positive resources to help you through this

Books to read: (many of these are free to read on Amazon and are short reads)

1. 30 Covert Manipulation Tactics in Personal Relationships
2. All books by HG Tudor ( I started with No Contact and went on to Fuel. The Devils Toolkit is great for showing tactics the abuse uses)
3. Invisible Chains
4. Why Does He Do that?
5. N********t Free by Zari Ballard (Zari Ballard has 3 or 4 books, they are fantastic for explaining the psychology around trauma bonding and why we feel as we do when someone has been horrible to us

Videos to Watch:

Gaslight, available to download cheaply from Amazon, 1945 film starring Ingrid Bergman
There are many videos available on You Tube on N********m (Detail removed by moderator)

Links that I have:

I have some really fantastic links, at the moment I cannot access these but I will pass these on later.

Lots of Love to all of you beautiful ladies. XXXXX

[KIP.]

Perhaps we should have a resources forum of recommended books, therapies etc.
This is helpful X

[Healthyarchive]

I think that would be an excellent idea, & some sort of filing,recording system for books,links,specific tactics etc,so that new women joining the forum can quickly access information without trawling through past posts. I have noticed the many new members who are registering.

Other good thread on coercive control is called ‘that’s your perception’. Another good thread on coping with aftermath of split is called Trauma Bonding

[Healthyarchive]

I think that there is a thread on here called examples of sexual abuse

[Lisa]

Hi,

Just to say I have taken note of the idea to have a ‘Resources Forum’, thank you for this.

Additionally we are aware that the swear filter is filtering words it does not need to, so we are working on this.

Thank you,

Lisa

[Savingmyself]

Thank you for all the links
X*x

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Ladies, i am on week 2 of The Freedom Programme. It took a waiting list of about 2 months, it is 2 hours per week for 12 weeks and mine is local to where i live. This forum has saved me from contacting, begging and pleading with my ex to want me and the books & counselling have done the same. The FP is another powerful branch of help & support for women experiencing abuse. Its a group environment, face to face chats with women experiencing the same or similar. I have taken some of my links, book titles, this forum details and websites to the group and the women are grateful. Please do join the FP it is facilitated by experts who understand the complexities of abuse. It has opened my eyes on another level. X*X

[Malaya]

Thank you for this. I’m at the point where I want to understand how he has conditioned me so thoroughly and how I can deprogrammed myself and start to heal
I like to read so I’ll look those books up

[Healthyarchive]

I have a really fantastic article on trauma bonding, it seems to go into the science of it, more in depth than some of the other articles that i have read. If anybody is interested in this, i can send you the link in a private message. Since I joined this forum many months ago I have heard the words Trauma Bond over and over again. I think that when you are stressed it can be hard to absorb information so i’ve not studied trauma bonding as well as i could have. I’m so desperate for answers and understanding, i cannot allow some man to control me and reduce my life like he has. I am going to study TB avidly from now on.

[Nova]

Hi again H A …great idea! resource support..we can share & thanks for pointing me in the direction of gas lighting & coercive control..
When I had my huge doubts ages ago about him, I was struggling to piece it together…researching ‘ blind’ & giving up as it was just me sea hang for answers! I found just n********m & passive aggressive to lead me through…. though now I’m more aware of the complexities…& it’s definitely empowering to be in the know! It all mad sense, hat hit the nail, and The lightbulb moment happened….it helped me make my decision, even though others even close friends are virtually siding with him! We know how that feels 😕
To add to the ongoing list..
Pat Craven is involved with the Freedom Programme ..so anything written by her is a must…(detail removed by moderator)

I will add more
Big hugs x

[Nova]

…not sea hang…SEARCHING! 😌

[Author]

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