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I’ve been out for a while. Just me and our child. A few ups and downs which I expected but recently our child has been unsettled at school, not at home though.This has brought on the usual long calls and talks about how me leaving him has caused our child to be this way and it’s only going to get worse. Constant accusations and blame that I left and even talk of us getting back together as this is what our child wants. I’ve not heard our child mention this till recently but first heard it from his dad. Has he planted a seed in our childs head or has he outright lied to me to make me feel guilty and on edge. He makes me feel like I’m the worst mum and he’s just downright mean and nasty about it! I was slowly building myself up to limiting contact but now it’s back to square one as it involves our child and I dont want to seem like I don’t care. That’s what my ex already thinks (or tells me) I’m just fed up! He won’t move on or let go.
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It’s totally up to you to move on and let go because whilst there is any contact he will use it to abuse you. You cannot ever co parent with an abuser. What your child needs is stability and consistency. Make it clear in a positive way that his father hurt you and you will never get back together. That you are safer and happier on your own. Absolutely zero contact. Contact through a third party or at the absolute most emai but only about contact if there is no,legal contact order in place which I would suggest. He doesn’t have his child’s best interest at heart and he will just keep dumping his rubbish at your door, manipulation, confusion and abuse. You do not need to put up with this.
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I totally agree with KIP its the only way with this type of abuse. x
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Thankyou both. I’ve had a repeat performance again tonight. I so tried so hard to cut him off. But I think when it goes quiet and seems well for a long time it’s a shock when it blows up again. It’s like your back at square one! I am listening to advice though. I am gradually taking it all on board, so your response matters. Thankyou.
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