Finding ME again

[Sunshineee]

Hello all. Not been on here for a couple of years now! I need some help/advice.

I haven’t been in this relationship for (detail removed by Moderator) years now. This relationship took everything away from me everything I was everything that made me “me”. And I’ve realised, I’ve never been able to get that back. I know I’ll never be the same person again before the abuse (as much as I wish) but I want aspects and parts of that person back. I want the confidence, the self worth the happiness. How do I find me again. How do I create a whole knew version of me when I’m battling so much with my mental health?

Thank you

[tiredofitall]

Hi, I don’t know if this will help you but I had counselling when I was in the process of leaving and we focused mainly on my future. I had to reflect on the values that mean something to me and then practical ways to bring those into my life. For example, I’d lost confidence driving because he always criticised me so I made a plan to drive somewhere new (not far) each week to gradually build my confidence. And I’d lost the ability to be spontaneous because I always had to explain and justify my choices so the plan was to try and embrace the opportunities to be spontaneous- even if it was just choosing something new off the menu! It really helped me to have a plan and focus for the way I want my life to be without him. He controlled me for so long, I’d stop thinking about me because what was the point. Its so different now. I hope that helps a bit and best of luck xx

[Sunshineee]

Hi I’m glad you now have freedom and choices and that therapy helped you. I had therapy after I left the relationship, and it was great really helped. However we didn’t touch much on this kind of thing, so maybe I should think about therapy again x

[Author]

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