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Its been almost (detail removed by Moderator) since I left, (detail removed by Moderator) of ups and downs, (detail removed by Moderator) of contact every day…today was my first day with nothing, I ached to text him, searched for an excuse in my head to do it but I didnt. I stopped myself. I am the strong one. He wants me to be weak. He expects me to text him. I wont. I cried. I hurt. I longed. Despite these things I refrained, I dont need to speak to him anymore. I spent the whole day and evening with my family and even at times forgot about him and all thats been going on. He was my reality, he was what made me feel stable. Now he isnt. I am my reality, my kids are my reality, my family and friends are my reality. The people who love me and care about me, the ones who would never hurt me or make me cry are the ones who deserve my time. It still hurts so much but I am lucky to have what I have and I will be ok in the end because of it xx
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WesternCloud..your doing great, one step at a time…keep going lady!
Just sending you some hugs & support, NC is tough & it’s the only way forward.Your speaking wise words, about your future, your life & your children, family & friends are your world …as you say your new reality…one day at at a time because you deserve the best life possible and freedom 🌸
Cx
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Western Cloud,
They are a very real and looming, scary reality when we are with them.
The beauty of No Contact is that- over time ( it’s not an overnight thing- you need to keep plugging away at it )- they begin to become less clear, less sharp image or imprint in your mind. Like someone said to me, he will stop being so ‘large’ and will decrease in size in your head.
I’ve been No Contact with my ex for more than a couple of years now. The times I’ve had the misfortune to be faced with him on the road, I’ve looked past him. The important thing is that I’ve not communicated with him all this time.
Though I’ve still been dealing with the after-effects of abuse, it’s helped not to have him appear so real to me. He’s now at certain times of day just a fuzzy image, a cardboard cut out. That’s what I hoped would happen: I didn’t want to live another thirty years in this earth with the reality of him so close and the wounds so raw. No Contact gives you the chance to heal until the wound just becomes a scab, that will sometimes cause you discomfort or even pain, but mainly will just be something that irritates you!
As abuse victims, we don’t believe we will ever get to this, as we are left feeling raped and violated on every level. But we can get to this by being courageous with No Contact x
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