first interview

[fizzylem]

Not sure how the cs interview went (detail removed by moderator); in some parts it felt like she really got it, but at other times not so much. She ended saying something like would you be prepared to join a group for parents if I made that a recommendation? I mean the both of you; individually not together (anyone know more about what this is?). Felt like a kick in the gut, like she sees it as a dispute and harmful conflict to the child, which I agree it is but there’s been absolutely nothing I could have done to make it any different.

Confused. Suppose I’ll just have to wait for the report, just hope it says what we need and its not shattering and I end up feeling it’s starting to go wrong. I tried to get her to see it from my child’s perspective and not attack him personally, just talked about his behaviour, but she went into the DA alot, more than I was expecting so feel I unravelled a bit here; needed to de-stress after and felt I’d got het up which is what is leaving me feeling on edge about it. Sigh. All I can do is cross my fingers.

Can’t help but think the state isn’t really interested in anything he does unless it crosses into sexual abuse or battery, like he will get away with how he’s behaved because at the end of the day he can use his PR however he likes. The fact he only uses his PR for abuse and at no other time is irrelevant.

Has left me feeling more determined to pull togther an air tight evidence doc.

Just really need for it to stop, for him to be stopped, protection, so we can get on with living again. Really hoping this is all going to be worth it and get us past this. This man is dreadful and will keep gunning for me until someone puts a stop to it, my child’s mental health suffers at his hands and he’s made my life hell for a decade. How can it be right that he can get away with this?

Feeling annoyed, fed up and anxious x

[HopeLifeJoy]

Hi Fizzylem

Good on you to exert your rights. I understand your frustration at how the interview went. She seemingly hasn’t captured the essence of your case.
It seems she’s trying routes which are familiar to her, picking absolutely the wrong one and consequently dismissing his abusive behaviour. If she knew the first thing about the dynamics of domestic abuse she wouldn’t even be suggesting you this offensively absurd option.

Coercive and controlling behaviour is relatively new, professionals clearly aren’t yet navigating this law to its full potential.
I wouldn’t be accepting anything less than viewing him in light of Domestic Abuse full stop.

I’d call Women’s Aid and would only resume talking with them supported by a solid case worker at your sides, trained in DA. Let them review the report together with you and reject it when not fully satisfied and propose your own version.
And why not also contact Family Rights Group, they’ll make sure you and your daughter are treated fairly by the courts.

Sorry I can’t be of more help, others may have gone through this can advise you better.

Keep strong darling 💕

[fizzylem]

Hi chick, just googled family rights group, looks like the right place to go if I am not happy with the report hey. Didn’t know I could disagree with the report, so don’t run down your suggestions. All V helpful.

I will request the DA case worker as well.

Feeling better today; met with a professional, (cant really say more on here) he totes gets it, and we’re on the same page. Lots of good advice and suggestions, a real help, was good, feel he’s part of the team now and think he will be a great help to us.

Thanks for your reply, much appreciated x*x

[diymum@1]

keep plugging away fizzy lem your doing great! if theyre suggesting group support it sounds like something medition services offer. i was offered one for the kids through family mediation. i felt it was too much. but this suggestion for this senario it just dosent sound appropriate. can you take a WA worker next time you see CS? of you see them again or get them to back you in appealing xxxx love diymum

[HopeLifeJoy]

That’s good to hear Fizzy you’re doing great 👍💕

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