Flash Backs

[Falling Skys]

This week I’ve started having flash backs, I was watching a drama Outlander and the way the men acted has made me tearful, and now I’m left feeling nervous and vulnerable. How long will things trigger me?

I seem to improve and then I go backwards.

[Dragonfly]

Hey Falling Skys

I’ve had this problem too. Just as I think I’m doing ok something will trigger me, subconsciously or otherwise and I feel like I’m back to square one.

I’m (detail removed by moderator), things are definitely on the up as far as my mental health is concerned but I’m now dealing with financial abuse whilst trying to get divorced. There always seems to be something that drags me down.

Hopefully this will end soon for you too x

[Borntobefree]

Hi falling sky’s

I so can relate to you ..the last 2 weeks I’ve been sinking …the flash backs came bk with avegence… and what triggered me was the emmerdale story line…but i never got the chance to fight my abuser in court .. and that’s hit me hard … keep using your coping skills if you got any stay strong X

[Confused123]

Hi Hun

I think it takes times, sometimes we can be x years out and just be triggered out of the bloom, u have to remember u r still in slight contact with them till house move is complete , how is that going . Continue posting and reaching out , i think support around us is always vital , knowing that we are being understood and maybe avoid certain programs, iknow i find it very upsetting to read articles about victims who have died from d v

[Falling Skys]

Thank you Ladies for your in put, it has given me comfort and the strength to carry on. I was getting cross with myself for being effected by this programme.

FS xx

[Copperflame]

I complained about that programme a few weeks ago in the strongest possible terms. I was sickened by an episode in which there was gratuitous violence where a woman was being beaten up by two men.

I went into detail about our Patriarchal society and how the abusive attitudes, values and beliefs embedded in our society resulted in attitudes of male privilege, superiority over women and a sense of entitlement to abuse and control women.

I had a mealy mouthed reply that the violence (this programme is extremely violent) was in historical context and reflected the culture of this historical period. Needless to say I sent a stern reply stating that no matter what the culture was back then, in the 21st Century it was NOT acceptable to televise male violence towards women! I went on to state that 2 women a week are killed by an abusive partner or ex partner and reminded them that coercive control is now a criminal offence. I said that we ALL have a part to play in stopping the scourge of domestic violence and this means not broadcasting any kind of male violence towards women in the media for male gratification.

This doesn’t apply to the raising awareness of DV in some popular soaps because this is much needed. However violence towards women for the purposes of entertainment is totally not acceptable.

They ended the reply by saying they hoped I would enjoy future episodes of Outlander. What??? They have to be joking. I was so sickened by the graphic violence in that episode that I will never watch it again.

I am now thinking of starting a campaign to ban any kind of violence towards women in the media.

Falling skys, I had nightmares after watching the episode I complained about so I’m not suprised you are having flashbacks. There is nothing wrong with you in that sense – it is normal reaction to a sickeningly and graphically violent programme which in my view should no longer be aired. It is disgusting.

[Falling Skys]

Hi, that was the one that put me over the edge, so pleased you complained about it.

FS x

[SunshineRainflower]

I can’t watch programmes like this due to the violence. There is so much of it on tv and in films now, it has become normalised which is a very bad sign. Same with computer games. We need to fight against this, well done for complaining Copperflame, I too have written several complaints about programmes due to violence and not received satisfactory replies back.

I can’t watch Game of Thrones due to the horrific violence shown. The writer stated that it’s based on Britain’s history where historically women have been treated terribly, but the fact is that it’s a fantasy programme and he could easily tone down the violence, or better yet, create some interesting matriarchal societies in the series with storylines minus all the violence. There is simply no need for it.

I also get very triggered, upset and panicky if I watch anything like this so now I only watch uplifting positive stuff and I also don’t read the news which is basically just gratuitous violence framed as ‘information’ for entertainement purposes and is toxic to injest every day.

[Falling Skys]

I didn’t watch TV for years because it was effecting me, just starting watch the news again, but I will be more discerning on what I watch in future.

FS x

[Copperflame]

In their reply the TV channel in question stated that this episode of Outlander had included a warning of “strong violence” at the outset and was shown after the watershed.

What they omitted to mention was that the violence included scenes of two men battering a defenceless woman as she lay in agony on the ground. Just because they gave warnings of violence is no excuse for showing scenes of this nature.

As for being shown after the watershed, it was screened at 9pm only just after when it could have been watched by older children and adolescents. What sort of message is this giving to impressionable young people (not to mention nightmares)?

Sadly, many young males will already have developed disrespectful and abusive attitudes towards women, and violence of this nature can only fuel such attitudes.

I haven’t watched Game of Thrones because it has never really appealed to me but I hate any kind of violence so I don’t think I would watch it now.

As you say it would be nice if we could have programmes portraying strong powerful independent women, which most of us actually are, even if we don’t feel it sometimes.

[Confused123]

hey hun

dont be cross with yourself, it is a way of recognising the abuse that happened to u and happens out there

[Falling Skys]

Thanks Con

I am so much more aware of abuse, sometimes when Im out I hear how men talk to their partners and cringe.

FS

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