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    • #17257
      Serenity
      Participant

      Recently, I have felt so flat.

      A few weeks ago, I was still very much in fighting spirit, and I had strong opinions about my abuse. Now, I feel flat. I feel like my personality has been erased. I can’t even be the mum I want to be, as he is there always upsetting the apple cart.

      I want to find myself again and don’t know how. X

    • #17260
      Ayanna
      Participant

      That is because he is in contact with your kids and still terrorizes your life. Get rid of him entirely. Make the kids not want to see him for a while. Sorry, parental alienation can be a survival strategy when it comes to abusive men. The UN and the fathers movements will not be happy about that, hahaha!
      I suffered so much damage from the abuse and from all what happened to me after fleeing that I am still not myself, although he is now completely out of my life.

    • #17262
      Serenity
      Participant

      You are right, Ayanna. It is because he is encroaching on us all again.

      Trouble is, he is so clever, if I try to tell the kids, it will look like sour grapes and he will tell them it is.

      All I can do is do it indirectly- by helping them to be independent and think for themselves etc.

      If I do it overtly, it will backfire.

      It seems mad that today he has both kids, is acting like Father of the Year, and yet he was cruel to them for years.

      Thanks for responding, Ayanna. X*x

    • #17287
      myfairyqueen
      Participant

      Is there a third party who can use for him to see the kids through if he is coming your house? Try to limit the contact with you as much as possible.

    • #17293
      KIP.
      Participant

      You are doing so well serenity. Playing the long game. We all know the mask will slip. It already has. Is it possible to drop the kids at your mums. Is she close enough? It’s amazing how toxic these men are. A terrible emotional trauma they cause time after time. I’m seriously thinking of trying to get a lifelong restraining order. (detail removed by Moderator) x

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