For the first time possible light at the end of the tunnel

[Peacethroughhealing]

I have been in the depth of despair. I had even stopped posting on here as everything was negative that I had to say and I was always ‘having a bad day’. I know there will be many ups and downs but over the past couple of days I have felt a shift in my feelings that maybe it is better that we are separated and I have cut ties. The agony is seeing him in my work but I haven’t for a number of days now and that has helped me cope. This is the first time I have had a slight glimmer of hope as I’ve absolutely not been able to see the woods for the trees. After telling him not to contact me again he sent me messages and one hugely long one with so many lies and delusional nonsense turning things around on me – that I had caused him mental abuse amongst many other things. The parents were then in touch asking for their (detail removed by moderator) etc back. I sent a concise email back, breaking my heart as I did so, and saying that it was better to completely cease contact now and I returned the rest of his clothes. They seem to have let the (detail removed by moderator) go I hope and to get the last word in they came back and said I had omitted to send a pair of (detail removed by moderator) back!? Really!!!!!! After everything he has done, they are blind….so I know having told them and him to cease contact that I can’t ever go there again because then I could be prosecuted for breaking that no contact as I’m sure that;s the kind of thing they would do for revenge despite how close I was to them sitting listening to all the conversations about their son to help him when he was a recovering alcoholic. How quickly it is all forgotten eh? Anyway, this is where I am at and I can’t say that this weekend will not be another hellish one of sadness, loss and anger but I’m putting one foot in front of the other and keeping going.

[fizzylem]

Hi PTH, this is great to read! You do sound lighter, like there’s a coming to terms, some letting go that’s taking place – go you! BUT, try not to feel you cant post because there will always be someone or even a few fine ladies that are more than happy to support you while you go through the difficult times – remember, we’ve all been there – can take a while to come out the other side – does, did, will do for most of us.

Cart wheels that you’ve cut contact with them all – v assertive and giving it the chop you needed! Reclaiming your power girl! Good stuff x

[KIP.]

Step back from the crazy. That’s a great mantra to keep. I was thinking about the delusional nonsense. After I ended things with my ex and went to a solicitor about a divorce told him I wanted a divorce because of his behaviour I couldn’t take any more hurt. He says, I was going to give you another chance, I don’t know what I was thinking’. Like it was me that was the cause of all this abuse. A friend of mine said it was like talking to a dementia sufferer. But it can get a grip when we try to work it all out. There is no sense to it all. You’re doing really well and every so often you will have your lightbulb moments and slowly things will make sense to you. Meanwhile be very kind to yourself and take baby steps. Seeing him at work is difficult because abusers always like a hook. That will be his hook. They have no comprehension of time or the effects of their actions, it’s also going to add to your anxiety but you’re stronger now. He’s going to regret he chose you to victimise. Now you know how his game is played x

[HopeLifeJoy]

I am very pleased for you Peacethroughhealing well done!
You’ve bravely stood your grounds and broke through the most difficult part I believe, it certainly isn’t easy seeing his ugly face at work, you can be proud of yourself, of your strength 💪
You will be moving on and forward from this and he will most probably relapse into his old bad habits and ultimately destroy himself and will be let go I’m certain.
Keep strong and keep on posting darling, feeling connected to others makes the journey a little easier and less lonely
Sending you many hugs 💕

[Peacethroughhealing]

Thank you ladies. It is, indeed, a long and painful journey and I am so grateful to have this site to post on and to read other stories on here too. I loved him with all my heart and wanted to spend my life with him. He destroyed that (detail removed by moderator) and things massively shifted and changed. His family are blind and they normalise it all when it is actually criminal and not just that he ‘has issues’.

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