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Just wondering what kind of changes you have experienced when in lockdown?
I feel from my perspective he feels happier because I am not going anywhere but I seem to feel like the controlling behaviours have got more intense(I.e. just wanting to assert authority for no apparent reason, I can’t do anything right, correcting me, I’m so far gone etc.) Not sure if this feels intensified because of the amount of time we are spending together or whether it’s got worse because he knows that I’m not going anywhere so he feels safer to try and push the boundaries?
Thoughts?Hope you’re all ok x*x
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Abusive behaviour becomes intensified when we start to recognise it for what it is. Remember and turn around what he says about you, he’s really saying it about himself. Grey rock method is good in these situations. Eg I’m sorry you feel that way
That’s your opinion
I found these statements threw my oh, because it basically meant he was arguing with himself in the end. I also didn’t instigate any conversation, gave one word answers if I couldn’t just ignore him. Note we are not punishing them like they do when they give us the silent treatment, though they’ll try and turn it around to you abusing them.
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Hi Dragon,
It sounds like he’s pushing his luck because he thinks you can’t go anywhere. You are allowed to if it gets too much. You can go to friends or family from what I’ve read online. Don’t underestimate how his words can affect you. I still constantly question myself and he’s been gone a while. Still am stuck in the mentality of is he going to kick off and walking on eggshells when dealing with him. X
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I think that in adversity the true mark of a man or woman come out, I really do. If they do have character, it’s going to shine then and do so brightly. Quite sure you’re not running around out of control or hanging your underwear on the lampshades, not being helpful and understanding during this time, right? We adapt to whatever the situation calls for in order to help each other, be kind to one another, supportive. A team player. But some people don’t play well with others, no team spirit going on there. It’s all about them and how they get their jollies by making someone else’s life miserable.
There has to be consequences for abusive behavior, just like dealing with a child actually. You do this, I do that which says – not allowing it. Times are hard here, no time for him to be messing about with all of this. I would venture a bet if you treated him like this all the time he’d blow a cork, right? You have rights and you have a good brain, you know what you are seeing and it’s just not okay, very very harmful to you. Keep your eyes popped open here, read, educate yourself because you are on the right track.
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