For those who got out

[Rainbowcloud]

how did you do it ? What worked for you ? I literally can’t stand him anymore no matter what he does now nothing will change that I hate him I can’t stay with him I’ve felt like this for months

[KIP.]

Involved the police. The best thing I ever did. They arrested him. Charged him. Got me bail conditions which gave me the breathing space to sort my head out. I know it sounds drastic but you now have the evidence you need to get rid of him. To let the authorities help you because it was impossible for me to do it on my own x my head was a mess x

[KIP.]

Women’s aid were a tremendous help in securing a marker on my home and support from housing if I needed it and just a shoulder to lean on. Find your local branch and let them guide you x

[Rainbowcloud]

I think u afeso bravej wish I could be that brave I feel stronger against him just not mentally myself anymore I get black depressions now I never used to it’s scary.
I want to be where you are away and free and I would love to feel happy again like I used to do I want that more then anything in the world have my family around visiting me going out with my friends etc even when I go out I feel like I can’t like imnot allowed to go out.
Now he’s hit me aswell I feel like he’s won he might do it again and I’ve kept my mouth shut . I need to do something soon very soon

[KIP.]

I know how scary that step is. I just had to take a leap of faith. I realised I was so depressed and mentally ill I could never get out by myself. It wasn’t brave. It was self preservation. I was heading for another breakdown and he crossed a line by attacking me. I had minimised his behaviour and that’s why I was going to get badly hurt. Reach out for help. There is lots out there. It feels comfortable with him because as humans we crave what is normal to us. Even if that normal is a violent dysfunctional relationship. Crazy making and twisted thinking caused by abuse x

[Tiffany]

I found it helped to keep a factual list of things he had done to me in a safe place so that I could hold into the truth and keep working towards getting myself out, rather than getting drawn back on by the love bombing. That gave me the strength to find myself somewhere to move to. And then I told people I trusted not to leak anything back to him what was going on and that I was going to spilt up with him the week before I actually did it. I felt like once I had told other people I was going to do it I had to do it. Which is stupid, but it worked for me. It’s not an advised women’s aid tactic – there is a risk he might find out before you move out and that puts you in danger – but it worked for me. Perhaps talking to women’s aid and telling them might work just as well. I didn’t really discover them until after I left.

[Rainbowcloud]

Tiffany I’ve often wanted to keep a log but he goes through my stuff sometimes and if he found it all he’ll woild break loose it would really help me to write my thoughts down etc and what is going on everyday but he reads all my stuff (detail removed by moderator).

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