- This topic has 7 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 6 days ago by
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He comments on everything I eat and drink.
Certain drinks, are not good for me (im not talking alcochol).
In terms of food, he says I never eat enough. He tells me that I have a body like a malnourished child, and I will never feel good in myself if I can’t change my behaviour.
I know I eat well, a healthy, balanced diet most of the time. With an average amount of treats. But no matter what I am having, in his eyes it’s never good enough.
I feel fear in the mornings that he will wake up and instantly show anger at my choice of breakfast.
Sometimes just to stop the comments, I purposely eat more. but then I feel rubbish.
Other than this, he tells me I dont go to the gym enough. And that’s the reason I look the way I do.
Regardless of whether its exercise or the food im eating, I will always be doing it wrong.
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So sorry to hear this. It must be exhausting. What you eat and drink is your choice. Does he control other aspects of your life ?
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Hi Reallyconfused,
Yes, he controls many aspects of my life.
He controls:
-what I wear, the products I am allowed to use (im not allowed any makeup or skin products),
-what I do with my money and what I spend it on
-how often I see my friends and family and recently has started not letting me go alone,
-the time I go to bed (which is apparently now (detail removed by Moderator)),
-where I am allowed to work and where we live.
-how often I use my phone and my use of social media, who I talk to on my phone.Sorry that list is too long.
I think there is very little that he doesn’t control at this point.
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He has no right to dictate what you eat or to comment on your body..that’s so cruel of him, he is saying it to chip away at your own self esteem which makes it easier for him to control you. You are right, regardless of what you eat/exercise it will br wrong for him and he will keep moving the goal posts.
Keep posting
HFH ❤️-
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Same here Butterfly, my partner controlls everything
I’m not allowed to…
Wear make up to work, only ar home
Not allowed to wear my hair down at work
Not allowed to wear nice clothes at wor
Not allowed to see friends socially
If any men start working where I work I HAVE to tell him
I’m not allowed social media
He has to have sex everynight
I’m am not allowed to talk to men
Has threatened I will not be allowed to see family anymore
Not allowed to use dry shampoo on my hair..At work
(detail removed by Moderator)
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Hi Butterfly-A your post brings memories back for me. You are describing very controlling behaviour. From my experience I can say this only gets worse. The behaviour gets worse and you will diminish as a person until your individuality is virtually extinguished.
I see from your other posts how close you have been to leaving. This is your personal choice, and I really know how hard this is but please reach out to support services and think about making that leap. Care is never control to the level you describe. You deserve your freedom to choose and live your life as you wish. Good luck. -
Yes I too have these memories. It got so bad that at one point I felt trapped in the house. He had psychologically controlled me to the point of not leaving the house for anything. He would get the shopping etc. so that I would not go out. I had to get up and go to bed at certain times etc etc. I was always scared of talking to a man in any situation – my husband would threaten him.
I sometimes think – did that really happen ? – yes it did.
He tried to control my children against me – to some extent it worked. It has left them with anxiety.
When our self worth gets ground down we can’t see that we deserve better.
Please please talk to a counsellor at women’s aid.
We all deserve so much better. Sadly it doesn’t change. We lose decades of our life hoping it will change and it never will. In the mean time our mental health suffers. Don’t lose hope in yourself and your future.
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